Dreams of Reality

Dreams of Reality

The sky is always blue here. I can't recall a time when the sky was painted any other color. Clouds brush across the beautiful canvas forming white abstract images. Nature's art displayed eloquently before me, leaving me at a tranquil peace within myself.

As I watch the sky, I await the arrival of its voice. Each day, I sit under the same oak tree and ponders what it will say next. It pretends to know me. Sometimes it is a woman's voice claiming to be my mother. Once it took on a male voice and alleged to be my father.

The messages never vary in topic. Consisting of things such as asking me to return and to wake up soon, I often wondered what the sky had meant. I try to search for explanations, but my memory fails to retrieve any helpful information. All I know is the present.

A shift in the wind lets me know it is time for the impending conversation. Sitting up strait, I cross my legs, the grass tickling my feet as I do so. My red summer dress lets this new welcoming breeze flow across my skin, comforting me. I grab a lock of my long blond hair and twist it in my fingers in anticipation.

"Hello sweetie," the sky greets me in a woman's voice, "It's your mom. Can you hear me, darling?" it asks in its favorite caring tone.

"Yes, of course I can hear you." I laugh and wait for the sky to speak yet again.

"I think it is time you wake up, sweetie. We all miss you, I miss you." the motherly voice fell to a somber murmur.

"But I am awake. Can't you hear me? I am awake!" As my words grow to a shout, I stand, getting swept away in the angered moment. I couldn't make sense of the sky sometimes. It always asked senseless questions and never listened when I spoke. I pondered why I even bothered to remain and listen to this useless banter. Then the clouds spoke one more time, and I answered my own question.

"I love you, Ella. I'll always love you." The alias mother said each word with so much tender pain and sentimental yearning.

It was at this moment I remembered why I always listened when the sky spoke. It filled a missing piece in me. I want so desperately to float to the sky and let the clouds wrap me in a comforting embrace while the sky's voice whispers promises of serenity. No matter how at peace I felt at times, it wasn't complete until I heard the voice of the sky.

This time, something is different. Mimicking the pain in the voice, the always blue sky now tarnished to a dark black. Each white cloud now faded to grey and filled with an intrusive agony. Over flowing with bitter torment, the clouds opened and poured over me. I need to leave, but what was keeping me here?

"It isn't suppose to be like this." A young boy said from beside me.

Looking to my right, I had anticipate seeing a stranger, but when my eyes meet the boys face, I instantly recognize him.

"How is it supposed to be then, little brother?" I ask looking back up at the sky feeling confused.

"I can't keep you here any longer. This isn't where you belong. You need to be up there, with her." He answers, looking up at the dark and stormy sky with me.

"Who is she?" I still don't understand.

"Our mother, sis. She needs you." He simply replies.

At that very moment, it all comes crashing back to me. A flood of flashing memories invades my mind. I remember everything. The house I was raised in, the pointless fights my brother and I had, and helping my mother cook dinner were a few of the memories I regained. The one memory that stood out from all the rest, however, was the most recent memory I had.

"It was dark that night." I say the memory out loud, telling the story to myself so that the reality of it will sink in. "It wasn't supposed to rain. We just left the movie theater and were on our way home. I remember the windows fogged, so we drew pictures with our fingers. I remember the squeal of tires then we swerved. Now I am here and you're..."

I pause to look down at him. His big brown eyes look back at me with so much wisdom. He already knows the end of the story; he just waits until I know it too.

"And now I am what?" He asks, but it isn't a question he needs an answer too. It is a question I need to answer for myself.

"Now you are dead." Grief now fills my heart as i say this and understand this new reality.

"That is why you don't belong here, but I do." He states so bravely.

"But I need to stay here with you, Rylar; I am your big sister so I'll stay and protect you." I argue.

"I will be fine here, I promise. Mom needs you more then I do. Now go, before it's too late." He demands as he is on the brink of tears.

I just look at him with sad eyes, unsure of how I can bring myself to leave him. Seeing my personal struggle, he reaches over and gives me a comforting hug. As I hug him back, several tears fall down my cheeks and land on top of his golden hair.

Pulling back from the embrace, I wipe my eyes dry and face him one last time.

Holding out my hand, I say with all my courage, "Walk me there?"

"Close your eyes." He replies while he holds my hand tight.

Complying with his demand, I close my eyes. I can feel my body grow lighter as gravity no longer holds us down. Floating higher and higher, I can feel myself getting closer to where I truly belong.

"I love you, bubba." I whisper with a loving smile, keeping my eyes closed.

"I love you, too, sis." He replies then he lets go of my hand.

Opening my eye to protest, I can no longer see the world I once lived in. Worse, I can no longer see my brother. That is when I realize I have made it to the other side of the sky.

My eyes flutter a little more as my vision adjusts to the new scene. The beauty of a perfect blue sky has been replaced with white barren walls and in place of the large oak tree and soft grass were a heartbeat monitor and an uncomfortable bed. I am now in a hospital.

The comforting smell of fresh air is gone as well when I inhale the stuffy scent of the room. I look around and find my mother in tears talking to the doctor.

"I know it is hard right now, but it is for the best. There aren't any signs that she will wake up and you know all the facts, so your decision to cease life support has not been made by ignorance."

"Mom?" I find using my voice difficult.

Both the doctor and my mother look at me in confused excitement. Immediately running to my side, my mother grabs my hand and squeezes it tightly as the doctor leaves to give us privacy.

"Oh Ella, honey, I can't believe it. You are here, you came back to me." She cheers as she lathers me with happy kisses and praise.

"Dad?" I hoarsely asks, searching the room, but not finding him.

"Your father is...he left us baby, a long time ago. I'm so sorry." She searches my face for a reaction, but it was just so much to take in that I didn't really comprehend it.

"Where's Rylar?" My memories of him in that other world were slipping from me, fast. I was even forgetting about the paradise I once thought was home.

"He didn't make it sweetie. He didn't survive the accident. He died 10 years ago... you have been in a coma for just as long." A depressed look now washed over my mothers face.

'Coma?' I thought, 'I wasn't asleep. I was...was in...Where was I?'

"I talked to you everyday. Doctors say coma patients can hear you when you talk to them...did you hear me in your dreams?" Mom asks, attempting to change the subject to a somewhat lighter topic.

I thought and thought until finally I had her answer.

"No, I don't remember a thing."