the lucky one

that night

we finally got to the hotel after a really long day. we were on a plane then had a 8 hour rehearsal. we both headed for the showers because our room was the presidential suite so it was two rooms combined so we both had our own showers.

after we both showered we went into the shared living space and sat down on the couch.

"what do you want to get for dinner?" i asked taylor as i pulled out my phone.

"i'm not really hungry so i don't think im going to eat" she said a she shifted and placed her arms around herself.

"taylor...you have to eat. even if it's something small. we have a long next few days." i said and she looked over at me. "im really worried about you." i admitted.

"i'm fine. i'm fine. i'm fine." she said as she got quieter every time.

"if you're fine why are you crying?" i asked her and she let out a shaky breath.

"it's just...i feel like everything is falling apart around me. a-and i don't know how to fix it." she said.

"im so sorry...is there anything i can do to maybe help?" i asked trying to get her to open up further.

"the world just makes me feel so exposed, and with this tour...im really excited for it but...it's really going to change my life. i don't know how to help myself so i don't know how you can help. i'm sorry" she said. i nodded.

"it's okay, tay. and what happened on that phone call today?" i asked.

"joe isn't coming...i don't even know why im upset...i knew that this was going to happen" she said defeated.

"taylor you have every right to be upset." i said. "why don't you get some rest. we had a long day. i'll order some food and i'll get you when it gets here." i suggested. she nodded and went to her part of the suite to head to bed. i could still hear her silently crying. i decided to text tree to let her know.

hey tree it's delilah. i know i'm not supposed to text you unless it's an emergency but taylor is really upset. it's about the situation with joe and she's just not doing the best right now. i tried to get her to open up about it which she did but i can tell she's still upset. i can faintly hear her crying but it's subsided now so i think she's asleep now. just wanted to let you know. i know taylor will probably kill me for telling you but i think her mental health comes before anything...

after i read over the message i pressed send and went to go place an order for food. i decided to just do something simple and i got us chick fil a.

about 30 minutes later the food arrived and the security guard stationed outside the room gave me the food.

"thanks drew" i said with a smile.

"of course! have a good night." he said handing me the food with a smile.

i placed the food on the counter and went to taylor's room. i walked in and she was facing the other way.

"tay? you up?" i said.

"yeah." she mumbled.

"food is here." i said.

"i'm not hungry." she said.

"tay..." i said walking over to her and she turned to face me. there were tear stains on her cheek.

"oh tay..." i said sitting down next to her and she just bursted into tears again.

"i'm sorry..." she said.

"hey it's okay just let it out. i'm gonna get you some water i'll be right back." i said. she curled up further into her blankets and i left the room. i pulled out my phone to see if tree had texted back.

hey d! thank you so much for letting me know. if tay is still upset or starts crying again please let me know asap.

i looked over the message contemplated texting tree to let her. i decided to grab the water and ask taylor what she wanted to do.

i went back to taylor's room and she was still crying. i placed the water in her nightstand.

"taylor? do you want me to get tree?" i asked. by this point taylor was crying really hard and i didn't know what to do.

"taylor you're scaring me..." i said as her breathing started to pick up. i decided to call tree.

"tree?" i said.

"hey d is everything okay?" tree asked.

"no i think taylor is having a panic attack can you please come over?" i asked.

"i'll be there in a second." tree said seriously and then hung up the phone.

"taylor it's okay just try and take deep breaths okay?" i said. i could see the terror in her eyes as she sat up.

"come on tree..." i muttered. i was scared for my life.

"taylor? just try and follow my breathing okay?" i said grabbing a hold of her hands.