Run Out of Emotion

Thirty One.

*Meredith's POV*

Those hours before we could see Devin were complete hell.

We sat there in the chairs, blind with grief. None of us even knew if he was alive. But all of this was because of me. I killed him. I'm a murderer.

Felix was hugging Adrianna and I tightly to his chest, and the three of us sat there, tears flowing down our pale cheeks. As much as Felix tried to calm me, he couldn't. I was sobbing uncontrollably.

But when the doctor came into the waiting room, he only wanted Felix to come and speak to him. I knew Devin was dead. Adrianna held my hand and gave me a look to warn me to stay seated. They may as well get the police to come and get me now.

Felix and the doctor were only talking for minutes, but it felt like forever. When they came round the corner, Felix had a tiny smile on his face. "He's alive." He grinned. Adrianna and I jumped up and we ran into his arms.

"Can we see him?" I begged the doctor.

"Well. First, I will explain to you what has happened. It is a miracle that Devin is alive. The person who found him found him within a minute of him hanging himself, so he has hardly any neck damage. Also the rope was too weak." The doctor said gravely.

"But we need to give him severe mental rehabilitation. He will be sent to a rehabilitation unit. Devin, I'm afraid to say, has had multiple mental breakdowns. Right, come and see him, but don't be too loud." The doctor told us.

Mental rehabilitation? Devin had gone crazy? Well, I suppose he did try to hang himself. I was pretty crazy when I slit my wrists.

As we walked down the hallway towards Devin's ward, my heart pounded with fear. We could hear yelling the closer we got. The first sight I got of him was him being held down by nurses.

"Get the fuck off me!" He shouted, his voice hostile and angry. We walked to his bedside and he stopped yelling. He glared at me, his eyes shooting daggers right into my soul. "What are you doing here?" he said violently.

"She came to see you. Meredith was really worried." Felix took my hand, trying to give me confidence.

"About what? She doesn't care." Devin turned away. "I'm not talking to anyone until she leaves."

My heart was torn into a thousand pieces and thrown into a wild ocean of depth and darkness. Tears streamed down my cheeks and Felix and Adrianna looked at me. "Could you leave? We really need to talk to Devin..." Felix asked.

"Sorry." Adrianna whispered.

It was then that I turned and walked down the hall, my feet thumping slowly as I gave up hope that Devin would ever forgive me.