𝗙𝗔𝗡𝗧𝗔𝗦𝗬 - FERMÍN LÓPEZ

004.

sophia

he gently let me go, still keeping his eyes firm on me, "now what did you have to tell me?" 

my palms began to sweat. i knew there was only one way he could react at the news. it was more about myself. it hadn't been long since i finally understood what i wanted to do- photography. it wasn't practical. i knew that. 

when i proposed the idea to my parents, they were ecstatic, especially because i was undecided for so long. what i did didn't matter as much to them, not anymore. my dad said he had media connections and job scout contacts on his phone, as he still worked for betis. but i asked him to let me seek opportunities on my own.

if i wanted it bad enough, i was going to work for it, and i've never wanted something so bad.

applying to a high class university was a complete gamble only because i was an average student at my local uni. but by some miracle, my application stood out to them.

"fermín..." i hesitate.

"now you're scaring me!" he lightens the mood a little, "just say it."

"i got accepted into the university of barcelona for fine arts..." i let out. his eyes widened as he shook my shoulders in excitement, "oh my god, sophia! this is amazing!"

not only did it mean i would be getting the education of my dreams, it also meant i would be living in the same city as fermín, if not 10 minutes away from each other. we embrace each other yet again. "so you're really doing it huh? photography?" he still holds onto my shoulders only slightly pulling away to look at me.

"it looks like it... yeah..."

"i'm so proud of you, soph." i prayed he would be. he didn't know how much it meant for him to say that. it was more than once i'd ranted to him over the phone about how i felt like i was letting both my parents and myself down because i was still undecided on my major so far into uni. and it was him that encouraged me to take up photography when he visited last summer and saw me taking candid shots of him on the beach with a camera i'd just bought for fun.

"thank you!"

"does this mean... you're transferring? have you made a decision yet?"

"i have fermín, i'm moving to barcelona."

this time, if his smile could widen at all, it did. everything was changing again. and this time, for the better.

fermín

she did it. she was doing it. she'd finally found something she wanted to work hard for, and i was beyond proud of her for it. and if she was moving to barcelona in a few months, i would do everything to make sure she'd love it there.

her dad comes home from work and as soon as he did, sophia excitedly rushed to tell him about the euro squad news. 

if there was anyone else besides my family and sophia that knew how big this was, it was him. carlos had been my first ever professional coach. but he was like a father figure to me. my relationship with him had been better than it was with my own dad. 

when i'd visit every summer, we'd sit in the garden with a beer in each of our hands. i wasn't a personal fan of alcohol, but i could see how happy it made him, so i drank and talked to him about anything from football to politics. 

he'd mention more than a few times how he was more than grateful to have two precious daughters- sophia being one. but he'd always wanted a son. it was part of the reason he was so laid back about me and sophia being so close- the reason that i never said anything about the way i truly saw her. 

carlos was trusting of me more than anyone else when he was my coach, and to this day. i was never going to jeopardize that.

he was dead set on having a small barbeque to celebrate the news tonight, despite my protests. he'd even invited sophia's friend, her older sister and her boyfriend for dinner.

the burgers and hotdogs had been more than filling, and it was about time that the sun had begun to set.

sophia was helping her sister, camila, and her mother clean up in the kitchen. and i felt bad watching her dad clean the grill alone. i excused myself from my conversation with camila's boyfriend, marc, and walked over to sophia's dad.

"dinner was amazing, coach." i still preferred to call him that.

"i'm no 5 star chef," he joked.

"you're right. you're better," he pats my back laughing at the praise.

"need any help?" i question, feeling bad that i hadn't noticed him rubbing grease earlier.

he shakes his head, "i'm all done. just gonna set this here to dry," he sets the grill racks on the floor, "can you just past me that towel?" i nod, grabbing a dry towel for him to wipe his hands with. when i turn around, i happen to peak into the kitchen sliding door to see sophia rolling her head back, laughing hysterically at something her friend julia said. perhaps i had been looking for too long because i don't notice when carlos rests his hand on my shoulder.

"you're going to take care of her," it seemed like a request rather than a demand. 

i nod. of course i would.

he sighs, "she's growing up... moving so far away so soon..." 

"she's 20, coach. and i'll be there for her, whatever she needs..." i assure him.

"make sure she doesn't get hurt, fermín. she's still fragile."

"she's tougher than you and me combined," i joke. he laughs with me, "that she is. i just don't want her to fall into the wrong crowd, you know? especially with all these footballers, influencers- materialistic people in barcelona... and in germany too... i just want her to be safe." that i understood. not that i was that way, i just knew of a lot of people that were. and there was no way i was going to let sophia get hurt like that, especially when she's been through enough heartbreak already.

"i won't let her get hurt, coach. i'll take care of her."