The Hot Hockey Player

Chapter 21 - Madeline 🌸

Two days have passed since the day I've come across Casper in the hall. And basically since the day I've tried — again — to talk to William. Let's just say that it was a crushing failure. His head is harder than rock. I have Matthew the stubborn at home but William ? Nah, that guy gives to the word 'stubborn' an other meaning.

°

 °        °

I quickly arrive to Union Station and I spot the building Casper told me about. I don't know how to go up there but I see William. I don't think he saw me because his stare is way above me. I climb the emergency stairs which seem to be accessible to everyone. The building is abandoned, which is certainly why William chose it. Anyway, as I'm approaching — and I swear I try to be as silent as I can but I'm no ballerina so obviously he sees me before I wanted him to — he turns and notices my presence. What struck me is the fact that when he turned, his face was still calm, reassured. That's before the 'me invading his space' part though. I never saw someone getting up that quickly. His face contorts and once again the cold mask.

"What are you doing here ?" he spits angrily at me.

"You're okay ?"

Great Madeline, obviously this is not the way to go.

But he hesitates, I see that. Before giving what I think to be his usual go-to answer for people to leave him alone."I'm fine. Now leave."

Well, I'm not people. "I'm sorry for what Jude said earlier, it wasn't supposed to be mean, he cares for you." 

He scoffs, as if it's way too far from the truth.

"You can't deny that he tried to be there with you, as did Colin and Casper. He's worried about you, and the guys are too William," I insist. 

He's currently piercing a hole into my soul by staring at me like that and I don't like it. But I let him do it nonetheless thinking that maybe he'll see that I'm nothing but trying to help him here.

"Don't say that. Don't say that they care for me !"

His anger's not scaring me. "But it's true, I—"

"Stop !" he cuts me before his voice fades. "Stop lying to me. You don't know what you're talking about ! Nobody ever cared for me and that's not supposed to change now. So please," he says with a trembling voice, "fucking leave me alone. I don't need a babysitter, I don't need you to help me, I don't need your fucking help."

"William..."

He calms down a bit after this and all traces of emotions leave his eyes. He's the void itself. "So please, leave me alone and tell Casper not to worry, I'm fine."

He's all but fine. And that right now is the proof. He was asking for help, he was asking not to be left alone. But he didn't know it yet, or he was an expert at hiding it.

°

°            °

I don't know if he wanted me to know all of this or if his heart spoke for him. Because I think the second option is the right one. I left him alone as he asked me, but I told him that I'd be here anytime if he ever wanted to talk to someone, even if he just wanted a place to be alone for a few minutes, with someone by his side while his emotions ever tried to get the best of him. As I said, I won't push him to talk to me or anyone else for that matter if he's not ready — and clearly, that day, he wasn't.

°

°             °

Tonight, it's the first game of the season. The Nashville Predators are playing home, at Bridgestone Arena against the Chicago Blackhawks. The National Hockey League starts again and it will marks the debut of their usual 82 games. I hope they'll be the best this year, I know they can. In the few weeks I've been to their training, I saw the real dynamic between them. No one is left aside and even if things with William are a bit complicated, it doesn't matter to any of them on the ice. Sure, outside it's another thing but when it comes to their passion, these guys can sacrifice so much.