Friends with Benefits • A J2 Story

Chapter 17- Jensen's Pov

*Edited

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It's been a whole week since I lied to Jared, and I still haven't told my parent's I'm gay or even Bi. He hasn't found out though, and I'd like to keep it that way. Don't get me wrong, I hate lying to Jared, but I don't think I'm strong enough to face my parents with that news. So everyday I lie to Jared's face, telling him my parents know and are okay with it.

It's Monday now, past our due date. Yeah, I definitely feel like an ass, but there is nothing I can do. If I tell him now, he would be so upset with me, and I don't think I could last a day knowing my baby is mad at me.

Right now, I was walking Jared to his second period. Our first period flew by, and I didn't want to leave his side but I knew I had to. We stop at the door and just hold each other's hands. I, of course, the douche I was, made sure no one was looking before I did so. 

"I love you, don't die in there," I tease. I make a quick glance around before pecking him on the lips. He leaned in further for an opened mouth kiss, but I pulled away before anything could happen. Not here where anyone can see us. He gives me a pout, so I try to negotiate, "I'm sorry Jare-Bear. Maybe later."

"Okay, but you owe me some tongue later," He whines quietly," And I love you too."

With that, I let him walk through the door, and I walk to my next class.

I take a seat just as the bell goes off. The teacher stands up and starts talking about shit I don't care about. If I hear something interesting, then I'll start listening. Halfway through, I start feeling eyes on me. I turn back a see a kid I've never seen before. He had black short hair, and piercing blue eyes that cut right through me.

I turn back around without saying a word and look up at the board. It's nothing but numbers, but I stare blankly at it anyways. The bell rang and I was out of there, only to get stopped by the mysterious, blue-eyed boy.

"I need to ask you something," he says lowly, then quickly adds as an afterthought, "In private."

"Umm... okay," I say unsure of what I should tell him. He nods and drags me to an empty hall on the sophomore side. He looks around anxiously before turning towards me.

"Are you gay?" He asks surprising me.

"What?" I ask, bewildered a bit as I take a step back towards the lockers.

"Are. You. Gay?" He asks one more time, putting spaces in the words like I'm two years old.

"No," I say boldly. I wasn't ready to tell anyone, not yet.

"No? Cause the way you keep sneaking kisses with that tall guy, sure as hell says different," He states folding his arms, "Also, you taking that same guy into a closet, and coming out flushed, does seem pretty fishy. Oh, and that time you slapped his ass when you thought no one was looking..."

"Are you following me?" I ask suddenly, the question coming to me.

"No, but everyone's talking about it, so I just wanted to know the truth," He says, not once looking like his confidence easing up.

"What? No one's talking about me and Jared," I snap. The guy just smirked and widened his eyes.

"I never said a name," He points out then continues, " And of course you're not gonna know if people are, no one's gonna talk about the bad ass in front of the bad ass himself."

I don't say anything, just glared at him. Eventually, I ask, "Who are you?"

"Misha Collins," He states lamely.

"Well, Misha Collins, I'm not gay. End of story," I say turning away.

"I'm not gonna judge you if you are. I would be a hypocrite if I did, considering I'm gay too," He admits looking away for the first time.

"Whoa... that escalated quickly, but I'm telling you. I'm not gay," I say. Technically I'm not lying. I'm not fully gay, only half. Maybe...?

"Okay then, " He says and shrugs his shoulders, " I like you. Gay or not. Wanna hang out sometime?"

"You just accused me of being gay, and now you wanna 'hang out'?" I ask my voice rising a fraction.

"Yup...basically sums it up. So?" He asks unfazed by my small outburst. Jesus, this guy was starting to piss me off.

"Maybe... Only if Jared is coo..." I stop realizing on what I was saying. I sound like a taken boyfriend.

"Hmm, well it looks like you guys need to talk first..." Misha says looking over my shoulder. I turn around to see Jared looking at us from around the corner with tears running down his cheeks.

Without one thought, I run down the empty hall to him and hold him close to my chest as he cries. For a moment I forget about Misha, but when I look back he's already gone. I focus back onto my upset boyfriend.

"Babe... Hey, what's wrong?" I ask soothingly. He refuses to answer me, only shaking his head and trying to get away from my hold.

"Why? Why wouldn't you admit you're with me? Are- are you ashamed to be with me?" He sobs suddenly. I mentally slap myself for making him feel this way. Honestly, I was confused to why this was happening.

"No... God no. Jared, this has nothing to do with you," I try, only to make it worst.

"So I don't matter?" He asks. I slap myself again.

"No... Ugh... Baby, I love you so much, and I would never be ashamed of you."

With that, he calms a bit down, but only a little. He pushes me off, and I let him. Looking me in the eye, he says, "Do your parents even really know?" I shake my head in shame, and he bursts out into more sobs. I blamed myself 100% for hurting someone so fragile.

"If you really love me, then why didn't you tell them? Why did you lie to me?," He pleads, sobbing into his hands.

"I can't..." I say brokenly. My own tears falling. I couldn't believe how just two night ago we were touching all over each other, and now we're having this conversation.

"Then I see how it is," He says and stands up and walks away. I reach out to him, but he dodges, "No. Jensen, just don't. I don't want to talk to you until you admit you love me to others. To prove you actually love me. I don't want to be one of those sluts you use and never tell anyone about!"

And then he's gone. My vision goes blurry, indicating I was crying. I look around and notice students finally coming out to see what the commotion was about. I refused to let those people see me cry, so I ran out of there as quickly as I could to my truck.

For over half an hour I just sat there thinking of how much I fucked up, and maybe this time I couldn't fix it with an 'I Love You'. I bang my head on the steering wheel, and let the emotion wash over me. Sob after sob racks through my body. I cry till I'm sick to my stomach, and have hiccups.

After my cries have settled down, I know what I had to do to make it up to the person I loved most in this world. I was gonna man up, and tell my parents that their sweet innocent boy, is a fag and likes it.  Well this was gonna be fun... but I would do anything to get Jared back... anything.