Warning: this chap includes self harm and character death
Stiles p.o.v
I can't believe I'm gonna do this but this guilt and pressure on my chest is too much and I have to tell Scott,I have to tell him what I had done.
I rang Scott up and the ringing of the phone was a new kind of torture for me. My heart is racing and I'm so scared, I don't wanna lose my best friend
"What's up stiles" he asks
"Scott I have to tell you something really important and it has to be done face to face"
"Can it wait I'm kind of busy"
"No because what I'm about to tell you may make you hate me" I said nervously pacing my bed room
"Meet me at my house I'll be right there" and he hung up
I shakily put my phone in my pocket and went to my jeep starting it up. I don't want go tell Scott anymore but it's the right thing to do
I breathed in and out trying to calm myself and turned my car on and headed for Scott's house
I walked in his house and Scott was pacing in the living room, when he saw me he immediately jumped for me "stiles are okay what happened" he asked worried
But if I tell him what I did to Donovan will he still care if I was okay "to be honest I haven't been okay since forever" Scott lowered his head. I knew he was blaming himself and that wasn't what I wanted
"Scott you need to sit down"he took a seat at the dining table and looked at me with hopeful eyes and then I told him, I told him everything about Donovan, me and Theo on the roof of the hospital I told him everything.
"So this entire time you've been lying to me and deceiving me because you didn't think I knew what an accident or self defence was" he stayed scary calm
"I didn't want to loose you Scott" I whispered, my voice cracking when I said his name
"I can't trust you anymore stiles you were supposed to be my best friend"
I could see the betrayal painted across his face "get out of my house" he said quietly.
I lost my best friend, I felt the unwilling tears fall from my eyes I couldn't stay any longer so I ran out of the house I just kept running through the woods till I couldn't run anymore and I fell to my knees.
I held my ears trying to quieten to voices in my head but it was so overpowering
Murder. You're a murderer. Killer.lies.kill yourself.you deserve to die.blood for blood.unloved worthless human.
Those words keep replaying over and over in my head "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" I screamed at the top of my lungs
"Please stop,please" I whispered to myself to those voices but when they stopped so did I.
All the emotions and feelings all just left me and what remained was one thought 'maybe I will kill myself'
I began my long walk home I thought maybe I would change my mind on the way but no I was more determined than ever
I opened my front door and luckily dad wasn't home yet I went to my bathroom and locked the door behind me I'm going to do this finally I'll be doing something right I'm killing the killer
I opened the cupboards and took out a razor blade and stared at the shiny metal in my hand.
I filled my bathtub with warm water until it overflowed a little bit. I stood up and looked at the mirror and I wanted to be gone so bad, I took the razor and pressed it hard against my skin slicing it down the middle of my arm cutting open a few veins.
Blood gushes out of my open wound dropping into the bath tub water dyeing to red I put the blade on my other arm cutting it straight down the middle making sure it went deep. I felt light headed and fell to my knees against the tub I looked at my arms and then shoved them in the bath water so the water was a dark red colour.
I felt dizzy and my upper body fell into the water I felt so weak I couldn't move my head up out of the water and then I thought of something else and it terrified me
"What have I done" everything went black
Scott's p.o.v
Stiles started to cry and I knew he felt bad and when he ran out of my house I felt scared. a very bad feeling came over me that I shouldn't of let him go
I called over Lydia to help me out I can't lose stiles he has been with me since day one even before all this werewolf business came and it was an accident
I told Lydia about it and she is making me go to stiles house and talk it over again I didn't want to but she reminded me of our friendship and friends don't give up on friends
So I went to his house with Lydia
His front door was wide open and the bad feeling I had earlier grew heavier "stiles we've come to talk" Lydia yells but there was no answer
I looked at her and she looked at me "I'm sure he is just sleeping or something" she reassured and went up the stairs
We walked into stiles room but no one was their "stiles" I yelled out but still no answer we were looking around till a scent caught me "blood" I whispered and Lydia looked at me scared "where is it coming from" she asked panicking
I followed the smell to the bathroom and I jiggled the handle but it was looked "stiles are you okay" I yelled banging on the door
"Break it down" Lydia yelled and I burst the door open
The bath was filled with dark red liquid and my best friend in it. I pulled stiles out of the red water and held him in my arms "stiles stiles,say something please" I begged what have I done
"stiles please don't be" I cried
Lydia gave me a few towels which i wrapped around stiles arms. Lydia called the ambulance I had just realized stiles wasn't breathing quickly i performed CPR
He coughed out the water and closed His eyes again faintly breathing.
The ambulance came and they took stiles out of my arms and down to the hospital. Lydia helped me off the ground and pulled me to her car and we drove to the hospital
"This is all my fault" I began trying not to cry "I got stiles killed"
"No you didn't okay stiles is just, just..." She couldn't finish her sentence because she didn't know what to say
I burst through the hospital doors and ran through the hallways following Stiles scent
He was on life support strapped down to machines and his heartbeat was faint the doctors ran around him doing god knows what to save him
"Scott you can't do anything now all we can do is sit and wait" Lydia said putting her hand on my shoulder as we sat down on a seat next to stiles room
Not longer than five minutes and I heard the machine flat lining they tried to restart his heart but it didn't work stiles is dead and it's all my fault.
