Confessions of a Lost Soul #2

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The sweet nothingness of death. Tempting. The sweet realise of pain. Tempting. To be free, away from everyone. Tempting. To be able to fit in without worrying about what others would think. To know I'm cared for. To know I'm loved...
I know I shouldn't think these things but it's hard. I know I'm loved but... I don't feel it...
I'm sick of the way I'm treated. Both at home and at school. I already find it hard enough to fit in and it doesn't help that nobody seems to realise it. Nobody wants to help me.
I do contemplate the possibility of realise through pain. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about running away. And yes, I do think about killing myself sometimes...
Only I don't do it because I do think of the people that make me smile and laugh no matter how annoying they can be.
But it still doesn't stop me contemplating it. And it's so tempting to find some sort of sanctum. Somewhere I can be free. Where I don't have to suffer. Where I can be alone without a bother.

"They say pain is an illusion.
This is just a bruise.
And you are just confused.
But I am only human.
I could use a hand sometimes.
I am only human."
- Human, Krewella

Dear Bullies,
That boy you called gay today, he just committed suicide.
That girl you called fat today, she's starving herself.
That old man you made fun of because of his scars, he fought for our country.
That boy you made fun of for crying, his mother is dying.
That girl you pushed down, she's being abused at home.
That child you made fun of for being bald, their fighting cancer.

<song above is Anna Blue and Damian Dawn: Silent Scream - the alternating duet version.>

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