"Ouch! Ray, get your foot out of my fucking ass!" I yelled at him, punching his right arm. God, I'm so uncomfortable right now.
"Deal with it….." he answers sleepily and hugs the pillow closer. I sigh loudly.
"Stop spooning me…." I whine lazily and try to push Ray and Mikey off me without success. You see, we are currently in the middle of the warped tour 2004, and have to share a bed. Frank's and my bed was broken when Frank tried to use the top bunk as a trampoline and caused the bed to break. And so, me, Frank, Mikey, and Ray were sharing a bed, which was more than just awkward and uncomfortable.
The top bunk was occupied by Bob, and that guy wouldn’t let anyone in it so it was four grown men in one tiny van bed. And it was not fun, to say the least.
So not only am I depressed, tired and have a killer headache, I also have to share a bed with my best friends, who are spooning me and touching my personal parts. I cross my arms over my chest and groan loudly.
"Man, shut up already…. Just sleep…" Ray mumbles and his foot is finally out of my ass, thank god. I stare at the ceiling and sigh. There's no fucking chance I can get any sleep tonight, and that's something I really need right now.
"If you have a problem go sleep somewhere else…!" Ray snaps after I sighed, and oh god, how come I haven’t thought about it earlier?!?!?!
"I will, then!" I sit up violently and almost crush Mikey and Ray on my way out of the filled bed.
"Ow! Gerard, calm your tits!" Mikey yells at me as I stumbled out of the bed and laid myself on the hard carpet-floor. I'm sorry that this is the situation where you get to meet me, I swear I'm not that much of a dick most of the time.
I hope.
I pulled my hands up and rubbed the tears that started spilling out of my face.
I laid there for about five more minutes, just crying silently, before i decided to go to the tiny mini-kitchen room to grab a bottle of beer.
And so, I took one last glance at Mikey and Ray who were fast asleep and pushed against Frank, before I got up and headed to the kitchen. I grabbed a bottle of beer out of the smallest fridge ever, and sat near the small, date table.
"Ughhhh….!" I smashed my terribly aching head against the table, which of course wasn’t the smartest idea. And the sound it made was actually quite louder than I expected.
"OW! MOTHERFUCKER!" I swear and take a long, big gulp from the brown glass bottle.
"Uh, what the fuck am I doing with myself…" I murmur and take another sip. I know I'm going to die in the next few days. I don't know how, but I just know I would. I know that if I fall asleep I won't wake in the morning. But deep in the cell of my heart, I really want to go.
That's when the door to the kitchen is opened ever so lightly, as if not to wake a sleeping child. A very tired looking, shirtless Frank was standing awkwardly in the doorway.
"What are YOU doing here?!" I snap at him. I know, I'm acting like a total ass, but that's not the real me. Frank and I had a massive fight and haven’t talked to each other in 3 days. To be fair, I really quite missed him, but I'm very angry right now. I'm not going to tell you any details about the fight. Not because I don’t want to, mostly just because I don't remember, really. I don't remember the cause of the fight, yet I am still as furious as I can be. Fuck me.
"After you went away, um.. t-they uhh started spooning me so… uh… I decided to check on you." He rubs the back of his neck awkwardly before stepping in and shutting the door behind him.
"You ok?" he asks and sits opposite of me.
"Fuck off…" I murmur and bring the bottle close to my lips in intention to sip from it, but it's snapped out of my hands before it even reaches my mouth.
"HEY! Give it!" I say furiously and try to take it out of his tattooed hand but he pulls it away quickly.
"No, Gerard. No drinking." He points his finger at me, as you would do to a little kid who's done something bad.
"Well, FUCK YOU! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" I yell aggressively and wipe a few tears out of my eyes as he gets up and heads to the fridge.
"You know I won't leave you alone." He responds and pulls a small ice pack out of the fridge. "Here." He hands me the ice.
"Well, what the fuck am I supposed to do with it?!" I snap. He sighs and presses it to my forehead. "Oh." I hold it instead of him, but even as he let go of the ice he doesn't go away. And we just keep looking at each other bashfully.
Within seconds, the light is off.
"Oh shit, I think the light bulb burned out again…" he murmurs and I hear some rustling sounds. Of course, I couldn’t see what he was doing. But then, a candle Is lit by a lighter and placed on the table in front of me. He then walks towards me and kneels in front of the tiny chair I was sitting on to be at my eye height.
"Look, Gerard… I know I hurt you and I'm sorry, I really am, from the bottom of my heart… I know it didn’t mean anything, I shouldn’t have made a big deal out of it…" he apologizes and I take out my orange box, and take three anti-depressants out of it which I pop into my mouth and swallow. What didn't mean anything? It takes a few moments for me to process until I get it… oh, right. We kissed on stage, that's what caused the fight. Well, I kissed him on stage.
"Is it really that bad?" he furrows his eyebrows, motioning towards the box. I sigh and nod lightly.
"I'm so sorry…" he wraps his arms around me. "Please forgive me, Gerard, it kills me to go on every day without talking to you." He says as I don’t hug back. But then his tears start spilling on my shoulder and I burst into silent sobs and wrap my arms around his back.
"I forgive you. I'm sorry…" I choke out and he starts rubbing my back soothingly. "I'm sorry for being an ass for the past few days, I didn't mean to hurt anyone, especially not you." I say in one breath and squeeze my eyes.
"It's okay…" he says and pulls away. I pull the ice pack out of my forehead and put it on the table. "Just always know that I care, okay? Talk to me instead of smashing into tables, fine?" I nod and sniff. And we just look at each other again, in the dim light of the candle.
"I'm going to die tomorrow…" I whisper and he looks at me worriedly.
"you're not going to die Gerard…" he sighs and shakes his head. But I am, I know I am. I won't wake up tomorrow, I know it. I just stay silent for a few moments before speaking up.
"Hey Frankie?" I ask and smirk a little.
"Hm?" he responds and I go for it. I pull his chin up ever so slowly, and connect our lips. To my surprise, he kisses me back and cups my face in his hands. I proceed to move my lips slowly, and it is not how they say it is in movies. The lips don't 'match each other exactly' but it's perfect. It's much better than anything I'd ever expected.
We pull away after a minute of kissing.
"Even though the one on stage didn't mean anything, I want this one to mean everything, okay?" he nods and smiles. "I love you Frankie." I cup his face in my hands and take a moment just to appreciate it.
"I love you too." He whispers and the candle burns out.
"Lets go sleep outside." He says and grabs my hand as we get out of the van and lay on the grass next to each other, just looking at the stars.
He wraps an arm around me and I snuggle into him, resting my head on his chest and close my eyes as he kisses the top of my head.
"Sing me to sleep, Frankie…"
And I'll leave you with that! Did you like it? Please vote and comment!
And listen to the song attached, it's amazing, and if you listen to it youll understand what happens in the end.
Thank you for reading! ♥
