scars(l.h)

29

Jazmine's POV

I slowly open up my eyes. The moment I open my eyes, I'm blinded by the sunlight shining through the window.

I remove the covers off of my body. I get up to close the drapes and finally there was no sun shining through. 

I open a door that was on the right side of the comfortable bed. It's a closet and I notice that all these clothes look a lot like mine.

I look more closely and find out that they are mine. Thinking that since my clothes are in the closet I went to go check the dressers, which by the way are fancy dark wood dressers.

Each drawer had my jeans, under garments, and a few more of my things. I don't understand how all my things were here. Even all of my guitars, appliances and personal items.  I go downstairs to have a cup of coffee.

I walk around and come to the living room and kitchen. The living room had one wall that was all glass. The view was really beautiful from this point of view. You could see everything from here.

I come across a full body mirror and look at myself for a few seconds. I'm wearing grey sweats and a black v-neck.

This place was really big for my comfort, but I guess it's for the better. You know, better to be isolated.

I walk over to the kitchen and make me some coffee. I take a quick a sip and my tongue is instantly burned by the heat of the coffee. 

Suddenly out of frustration I throw the cup to the floor. The glass shaders everywhere and the coffee is spilled.

I cry at how stupid I am to break one of the cups. I try not to step on one of the broken pieces but one found its ways into the bottom of my foot.

I tear in pain as the broken glass started to make my foot bleed. Taking a seat on the floor I pull the shard out of my foot and throw it back on to the ground.

I hop to the bathroom and wash my foot in the tub. I grab the towel and wipe of the blood. I guess the cut wasn't as deep as I thought.

After all that has happened.....I really don't know how I'm still alive or why I  haven't...killed myself. I've been suicidal since the third grade. Ever since my dad died, ever since my parents divorced. I was only four when my parents divorced. I didn't even get the chance to have my two parents drop me off to the first day of kindergarten.

I put on my Jordan slippers and clean up the mess I made.

I use a cloth to wipe up the coffee and pick up the broken pieces with my hands. Looking at the broken pieces its reminding me of what my heart looks like. All shattered and broken down. I throw it all in the trash and sweep up the tiny pieces.

I walk up the stairs and go back in to the bedroom. I fall into bed and stare at the ceiling. This bedroom is the size of my condo, at least more than half.

Looking over to my side I grab my phone off the counter. I look and see that my phone is getting non-stop notifications. Mostly all from Twitter. I deleted my Instagram a long time ago. Just because I was getting a lot of hate from the people at school.

Twitter has all my friends I made two years ago. I'm glad that they accepted me for who I am. Even if who I am, is really crappy.

"Haha," I laugh with tears flowing down my cheeks. It's so funny that I'm such a mess. It's so hard not to laugh at myself, you know? Like.......now I know why everyone else laughed at me, called me names, abused me.

It's all because I'm embarrassing and just plain stupid.

I raise my head, not wanting tears to fall from my eyes.

"Jazmine..why are you like this?!" I ask myself tugging on the roots of my hair.

The emotions start piling and I lose it. I just start sobbing. Instead of cutting I decided to put my emotions to good use. I quickly grab my guitar and play a cord from the top of my head.

Next thing I know I'm singing my own song. The lyrics telling my story the rhythm showing my feelings.

After 20minutes of writing my first song. I run downstairs to the recording room.

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All the songs that Jazmine, the main character is making are songs that are already made so yeah.

I'll give credit to the artist just in case someone says something.