SPAMLET
CAST (in order of appearance)
SPAMLET: The son of King Bob and Queen Gertrude, Spamlet isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed and tends to talk more than necessary
KING BOB: Spamlet’s father and the late king. He’s dead.
GERTRUDE: Spamlet’s mother. Spamlet get’s his brains from her.
PLOTTIUS: Spamlet’s evil uncle, who is plotting to rule all the country. He is very evil.
HORATIO: Spamlet’s best friend, who happens to be much smarter than him.
SCENE 1:
INT. CASTLE HALL
The walls of the castle are made of grey stone, and there are red tapestry decorating the floor. On one side of the room is an arch that leads out into the courtyard, and on the other side is a door.
[ENTER SPAMLET]
SPAMLET;
To be, or not to be?
That is the question!
I mean, really, what is the point of living
When all we do is die?
Right?
RIGHT?
That’s what I thought
[ENTER KING BOB]
[KING BOB has been stabbed. He has a knife sticking out of him.]
KING BOB;
Dear sweet God!
Somebody help me!
SPAMLET;
What is it, Father dearest?
What has happened to you?
Please, speak, my Father!
Tell me what has happened!
KING BOB;
Are you stupid, boy?
I’ve been stabbed! Get help!
SPAMLET;
What unholy madness is this?
Oh cruel world, what have you done to my dear Father?
You have stabbed him, in the prime of his youth
And cut the life from his heart!
KING BOB;
I’m still alive!
Get help before I die!
[SPAMLET wanders across the stage]
SPAMLET;
Oh wicked world! I am fatherless because of you!
You have taken, from me, the only man who ever cared for me!
My dear father! You shall not die in vain!
