"We got a female, 25, gunshot wound to the neck, punctured jugular, weak pulse, BP 40/25!" This is screamed out by the paramedic running through the emergency room doors. Me and two other nurses run over to quickly examine the patient.
My stomach drops when I see her, blood all over her and she hasn't even begun to live life yet. Even though I have been a RN for 15 years, I still feel pain in these situations.
We hurry and page Dr. Smith, anxiously waiting fearing that she was going to code any second. As soon as he comes in he yells " she needs an emergency surgery immediately to close up that open vein", we hurry and prep the operating room so the surgeon, Dr. Zane can immediately start operating.
Hours pass, Dr. Zane comes out finally, "I did everything that I could, I'm so sorry for your loss" he says to Abigail's parents who had came in while Abigail was in surgery. I watch as her mother completely breaks down, falling to the floor, hysterically screaming and crying. Her father starts crying, not even noticing his wife on the floor, becoming engulfed in his own misery.
The doctor helps the mother up and places her on the couch and sits the father down next to her, trying to calm them down. My heart breaks for them , I can feel the tears in eyes so I quickly excuse myself , not wanting the parents to see me. I walk quickly to the bathroom, sending a quick prayer to God to watch over my sons and for me to never have to experience that pain ever.
As a nurse I have to go through this everyday , it's emotionally draining , I sometimes think that I should switch to a different unit but then I believe that God placed me here for a reason, after all I am the best nurse they got.
At lunchtime , I take my food and walk out to the park, loving the soft breeze on my face as I walk . I love coming here because it gives me a sense of peace and calmness. Even though I feel alone, when I'm here I know that everything will be ok and God will protect me.
After Break is over, I walk back to work to finish some paperwork and headed home at 7:30 , saying " Goodnight" to my colleagues , happy to finally be going home to my babies.
YOU ARE READING
How Do I Balance It All?
RomanceAbby is a hardworking woman who had a few tough breaks in life. She is balancing between taking care of her two twin sons as a single mother, who are 11, working as a nurse and all at the same time trying not to feel insecure of her 220 pound frame...
