I'm Okay: A Marhinki Fanfiction

Alive

Chapter 8

Finally finished for the weekend, Mari said goodbye to everyone and headed out the door. Instead of getting on the interstate to head to her apartment, though, she turned right on Beechwood Street. She pulled into the parking lot of her dance studio, turned off her car, and just sat for a minute.

It had begun to snow. She had so much on her mind, and the first thing she had thought of was to go to Sohinki's place.

Then she remembered that was no longer an option.

So, instead, she decided to give dancing a try.

She hadn't danced since the accident, mostly because of her leg. Since her cast had come off yesterday, though, she was eager to try it out. She pushed through the glass doors and greeted the receptionist warmly, who directed her to an empty studio that was hers for an hour. She slung her bag over the bar near the door, tied her long black hair up into a messy ponytail, and turned on her camera.

She decided to name her dance, "Healing".

If you asked Mari afterwards, she wouldn't be able to tell you what she had danced. There were jumps, floor work, leaps, you name it. All she knew was that she had to get all of the bad thoughts out of her system. Finally, her song ended, and she dropped to the floor, breathing heavily. She stayed there for a minute, savoring the aching stretch coming from her calf muscles.

She heard applause coming from the doorway, and she snapped her head around, only to see none other than Matt Sohinki half-visible in the door. She quickly turned back around and began to pack up her bag.

"Mari."

She ignored him and continued gathering her things.

"Mari. I have to talk to you. Please hear me out," Sohinki begged. She glared at him and shook her head, tears beginning to form in her eyes. She tried to step around him to get out the door, but he blocked her exit.

"I made a mistake, Mari. I need to tell you why I said those things to you," Sohinki murmured. Mari shot daggers at him.

"You made it pretty clear. It was obviously just a big joke to you. I hope you laughed your ass off over it," she hissed. She made a move to shove him out of the doorway, but he stood firm.

"Mari, it was never a joke to me! Don't you get it?" he pleaded. "I said those things because I wanted to keep you safe!" he yelled. Mari backed up a few steps, surprised by the tone of his voice.

Matt continued. "It was my fault that day that you jumped out the window. I found you in your bed having a nightmare, so I tried to pin your arms down so you wouldn't hurt yourself. I saw that it was making it worse, so I... I let go. I couldn't hold on. And you jumped out of bed and..." he trailed off, tears beginning to fall. "How could I live with myself knowing that I hurt you?"

Mari stared at him, taken aback. Sohinki continued to talk.

"After that day, I knew I had to stay away from you for good, or else you could get hurt again. Because of me. I stayed away from everyone for a couple of weeks, because...if it was just me, then the only person I could hurt was myself," he whispered. "I didn't come find you because...I was trying to keep you safe." He finally trailed off and sat down hard beside the bar.

Mari had tears forming in her eyes. She sat down right in front of Sohinki, closing the door.

"Matt, do you want to know what this tattoo says?" she whispered. Sohinki shrugged and avoided her steady gaze.

She continued. "I got it with that day in mind. It's in Japanese, but it says, 'If I fall, will I fly?' Matt, yes, I fell that day. But it was NOT your fault. It was the chemical imbalance in my brain that caused the nightmares." Sohinki had finally brought his eyes up to meet hers. She grabbed him by the shoulders.

"You want to know the day I fell hardest? That day I came to your apartment. You were all I had. Then that disappeared, and I couldn't even think anymore. That hurt worse than the accident, Matt." Mari finally had his attention. "You said that the first time I had a nightmare, you pinned my arms so I wouldn't hurt myself, right?" Sohinki nodded. "You were trying to protect me. You thought it would make it stop. For some reason, the nightmare kept going. Matt, no matter what, you tried as hard as you could to keep me safe. That's all I ever really wanted," she continued, crying openly now. Tears had begun to form in Sohinki's eyes as well.

Mari grabbed him in a fierce embrace. "Don't you ever leave me again, Matt Sohinki. I mean it," she demanded. Sohinki nodded and grasped her tightly. He took her chin in his hand and brought her lips up to meet his. They stayed, locked in a sweetly passionate kiss for a few seconds, then pulled away, blushing and smiling.

Mari looked straight into Matt's eyes. "Do you want to know when the first time I flew was?" Sohinki nodded. "That first night I kissed you, Matt. I loved you so much then. And I love you even more now."

Sohinki laughed and pulled her into his lap. "I think I like your tattoo," he chuckled. Mari giggled and snuggled into his chest.

"That was a hell of a dance you just did. Your leg's gonna hurt tomorrow," Sohinki chided. Mari just looked at him with a smile in her eyes.

"I don't care," she said.

She grabbed his hand and pulled him up. The two exited the studio, hand in hand, the snow falling on their hair as they headed toward the car.