Ever hear the saying that misery loves company? That may be true in the way that often if one person is unhappy then another person is unhappy, which could go on and on in a chain of unhappy people. The truth is that they're all connected in their misery, but in reality they're suffering it alone. Everybody handles misery differently.
Today was the first day. The heartache. The pain. The tears. The denial. My heart felt like it was a pincushion; thin enough pins to hurt, while still keeping me alive. Every breath hurt my chest, the pain radiating from my heart. And yet every time the tears tried to fight their way from my unwilling eyes, I let my heart grow cold to force them back in their cage. It felt wrong to not cry over you, but if I did it would have been a meltdown. The heart-wrenching sobs, the painful whimpers and pitiful sounds escaping my raw throat. No, not in public. Tonight when I'm alone. Sitting beside you and not being able to casually touch you; it killed me inside. I can't even remember the last time we were physically separated for this long of a time. And it killed me inside today. I was numb, and it crushed my heart and soul that I had to jerk away from you if we accidentally brushed elbows.
I'm dying inside and you don't even care.
And this is only day one.
My misery doesn't have any company.
