20- Apologies*

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Kimber's POV

"Kimber I am so sorry. I wasn't here for you. I should have never left and just let Finn be in charge. I should have stayed with you. I'm so sorry."

He couldn't look me in the eyes. He shouldn't be sorry though. There will be more children to be born.

"Don't be sorry Bash. Look at me. Look at what you gave me...This life I live now...I love it. Never be sorry. I have a family now. And it's with you..."

He smiled up at me and pecked my lips without crushing Ryder. He sat back down and I sat up in bed. Bash handed Ryder over to me. Ryder fell asleep in Bash's arms.

I love my boys so much...

4 months later

Everything was going great. Avalon gave birth to her twins and named them Jade and Jules. We all had families now. What killed me was that me and the girls were drifting apart.

Their like my sisters. But I guess since we all have our kids it's hard to get out. Especially when nobody can watch them seeing as Grey runs training and Finn and Bash are always up in his office.

The only time I really see him is at dinner. That's if he comes down for it. The other time is before bed. He's been sleeping a lot because some nights he doesn't come to bed right away.

I'm always the one to get Ryder. Don't get me wrong I love him to death but he wakes up almost every hour. I was sitting on the couch staring off into space when someone walked in front of me.

"Hey Kimber. We were wondering if you wanted to go to the mall with us. Grey's watching the girls and Finn is watching Zach. I'm sure Bash wouldn't mind to watch Ryder."

"Yeah. I'll ask him," I got up and walked up to his office. I didn't bother knocking and walked in. Bash had his head in his hands.

"Don't you know that you have to knock first!? I'm your Alpha I'm not always your friend!"

"You're not my Alpha. I'm human. Oh and keep your voice down your gonna wake Ryder."

He looked up at me and scratched the back of his head, "Sorry."

"Its okay. I was wondering if you could watch Ryder so I can have a day out with the girls?"

"When you have a kid you don't have time for 'a day out with the girls'. I can't watch him anyways. I have work to do."

That set me off.

"You always have work to do! I'm always the one to get up and get Ryder every god damn hour he wakes up! You never get up and get him! I barely sleep and me and the girls haven't seen each other in forever! So no. I'm not watching him. You watch him."

"I told you I can't watch him! I don't get him because I'm sleeping! I go to bed late because I have work to do! What don't you understand!?"

"I'm sleeping too Sebastian! Maybe he wakes up and cries every hour cause his dad doesn't give any attention to him! Your always busy with work! I barely see you and Ryder never see's you!"

"That's not my fault!"

Crying was heard and I wanted to scream, "Well. What are you waiting for? Go take care of him," I heard Bash say.

I turned around and looked at him, "Are you serious!? I'm done. I done with this bull shit."

I walked out of his office slamming the door and went up to Ryders room. His face was so red from crying.

I picked him up and rocked him back to sleep. I kept him in my arms because he needed my comfort. I grabbed a bag and put some of his clothes in it. I put everything he needed in it and went into me and Bash's room.

I found a bag and put a whole bunch of my clothes and things in it. I took my bag to Ryder's room and set him in his car seat.

"Kimber what are you doing?"

I turned around to see Lucy and Avalon looking confused. Tears were rolling down my cheeks and that's when I broke down. They came and hugged me.

Once I stopped crying I talked, "I can't do this with him anymore. Were supposed to be mates. I barely see him and Ryder doesn't see him at all. When Ryder started crying he said 'Well what are you waiting for. Go get him.' This isn't the life I want to live. I was gonna see if I could go to my brothers and see if me and Ryder can live there."

I pulled away from them and I seen Finn and Grey enter the room with sad expressions, "What's wrong?"

"Bash heard what you said. He told us to tell you that you can leave but you can't take Ryder with you."

I nodded and turned to Ryder sleeping. I kissed his fore head and picked him up. I seen him smile but when I set him back in his crib he started crying. He quieted down though. I grabbed my bag and hugged Kimber and Avalon.

"You don't have to leave Kimber."

"This life if horrible. The only good thing is Ryder."

I hugged Finn and Grey and then left the room. I had to make one more stop though. I knocked on Bash's office door.

"Come in."

I walked in and he looked up. He smiled but then frowned when his eyes landed on my bag, "Sebastian when I first learned that we were mates I was actually happy. I fell in love with you and we had Ryder. I loved it and you really shouldn't have been sorry. You would see another child born for we had the rest of our lives together. But then you started working non-stop. We drifted apart and I barely saw you. You were always late to go to bed with me and when Ryder cried you just slept. This kept happening and he started to wake up every hour because he never saw you.

I got tired from waking up every hour. You said mates were your to her half and you would do anything to make them happy. Well I'm not happy. I haven't been. Mates are bullshit. So you can try to keep me here by Ryder but it won't work. I love him so much and I would do anything to keep him with me since you'll probably hire a nanny. Say what you need to right now."

"Kimber!"

What the heck?

"Kimber!"

I shot up from the bed and gasped. I looked to my left and seen Bash looking scared. I heard crying. That was Ryder. What happened?

"I got him. You scared the hell out of me."

"I-I..."

He hugged me and I hugged him back, "Go back to sleep I'll get him."

I nodded and laid back down. It was just a dream. It wasn't real.

*************

EXPLANATION

Okay so yes it is 4 months later.

Everything is true except for everything after Avalon gave birth and names them Jade and Jules.

Everything after that is a bad dream.

Do you still have confusion?

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