I'm Married To Pain

Chapter 32

I can't understand. I saw them going after Nate's car before it was flipped. Besides, he admitted. The four of them admitted that he killed Nate. What's not clear about that?

As soon as we got home, I went straight to find Jared. I saw him standing infront of his office's glass wall, looking outside with a glass of wine in his hand. He's too deep in his thoughts. The moon was the only thing that's lighting up the room. He bowed his head, turning the glass in circles. It's red liquid is dancing around inside the glass.

"Can you talk to me?" I asked him when I was just right behind him.

He didn't turn to look at me. Instead, he lifted his head a little and sighed. "Will you listen?"

That made me pause. Am I going to listen to whatever it is he's going to say? Am I going to believe him?

"I just want to know the truth, Jared." I said softly, almost like a whisper.

******

Tyler's POV

Her family didn't let me see her burial. But I watched from afar. After that, I went home.

I didn't get to see her. Not even my son. I wonder how he looked like. I wish he looked like her so I still can see his mom's beauty. Was he like Jansen too? Naughty and cute. Trying to be an adult though he is still young. Is he adorable too?

I saw a package on my desk. It was from Cley.

There was a note above it saying... [This is not for you to forgive me. I just think you deserve to have this. I know how much you love Gina. What I did was absolutely against my will. It was Gina who pleaded me to do those things. However, this is an exception. I know Gina will get mad at me for doing this. This isn't for you. This is supposed to be for your son, Zachary. However, I still think you deserve to have this because I know you are not a bad person, my brother. You might have missed a big part of Gina and Zach's life but I made sure you don't miss everything. -Cley]

I picked the topmost item in the box.

A diary.

I spent my whole time reading it. I didn't even bother to fix the company's needs first.

It was long. From what happened years ago until Zach was born. I read everything without missing out a single word. From what Cassidy has done, that it was all a lie. About his accident and all. How she tried to commit suicide by overdozing herself with pills. How she asked Cley to help her and flew to UK. How she lived there fresh. When Zach first moved in her womb. All her feelings, her happiness, her hatred, everything. How she got depressed and started to know about her heart complications. She almost died giving birth to Zach but she needed to live. However, this made her heart disease worse. Everything was written in there. The pain in my heart and the guilt kept on increasing. It made me feel harder to breathe. It's heavier.

After reading everything, I picked out the other items. They're about more or less 70 cd's that has titles written on it. Zach's christening, first christmas eve, first meal, his first few walks, laughs. His videos sleeping, dancing and singing. His first birthday, first day to school. Every important events in his life was filmed and put in a disc. I watched some of it but what melted my heart was his first word. The first word that her mom taught her.

"...say it. Say daddy." Gina spoke in the background. The camera was focused on Zach while he's sitting on Gina's lap.

"Da-da." He said.

I heard Cley and Gina laughed.

"Tyler won't be very proud of this though. Too bad he will never get to hear this." Gina said when she was focused on the camera.

She's beautiful. Zach got her eyes and the shape of her face. The rest were from my genes already. The hair color, the nose, the chin, the lips... he's so beautiful. Gina did a good job raising him as a kid.

I missed how I used to see her laugh that way, like there was nothing bad that happened to her.

I let out my tears I kept inside me.

Gin. If I could only turn back time, I wouldn't make you wait. I'll choose you over and over.

Cassidy is sweet and loving to me. She even gave me a princess. Her name is Erin and she's turning four next month. However, I can't help but regret. With just a single lie, she destroyed my should-have-been family. She destroyed lives. She put us in hatred, anger and guilt that we can no longer remove forever.

But she's not the only one to blame and I know that.

******

Jared's POV

I threw my cigarette before looking at the guy.

"What the fvck did you just say?" I told him. He annoyed me a little.

He looked mad and I don't even know why.

"You insulted my car. Do you think just because you have a fancy lotus car, I can no longer race with you?"

I didn't insult his car. I just said it can't race with me. Well to be honest, his car looked fast but a challenger is nothing compared to my lotus. And c'mon, who prints their girlfriend's signature at the back of their car?

"A challenger cannot race with a lotus brother. Believe me."

With that...

I stepped on my accelerator without releasing the clutch to bust my exhaust out. I smirked at him. He's in his car beside mine, waiting for the green light.

When it light up, we flew in full speed. I admit, he's pretty fast. He's a good racer.

Though I am leading the group with him, Cley and Tyler behind me, I can still hear the power of his car's engine right behind me. I should buy a challenger first thing tomorrow.

We came across the bridge and he's already right beside me. I can see Tyler and Cley trying their best to catch up with us.

After the bridge, he did a sharp turn which made him the lead.

But I didn't let him win. I went right beside him in no time.

We both rolled down our windows and smirked at each other. We both know it was a good match. I'm starting to feel comfortable with him, like I want to be friends with him or something.

I looked infront and lost my entire mind. I stepped on my breaks, hoping he could drift to my lane as fast as he could before he could hit a big truck stucked in the middle of his lane.

I believe he could. I know he's a good racer. I know he could. However...

I saw his car flipped infront of me going to the third lane.

Why? What the?

I got so nervous and dither. I can't think straight.

I was about to get out my car when I noticed Tyler yelling at me.

"... better for us to go! Just go! Go!!!"

I was out of my mind. I was still in shock. I stepped on my accelerator really hard and drove away. I saw a girl running towards the car in my rear view mirror. My hands shook in horror.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to run away like this.

Although I know I didn't kill him, I felt like I did. I was scared what happened and I just want to forget about it so I asked my friends to keep it hidden until everyone forgets about it.

I did forget about it.