Stronger

Chapter 12 {I'll cry for you}

Faith POV: Three Months Later

The doctor says it's too early to tell. My gut tells me it's Tim's, but crazier things have happened. A certain shame hits me when I really start to think about it. I'm thirty four, and trying to figure out who the father of my unborn child is. 

As of right now, the baby is healthy, which is all I could ask for. The girls found out the other day, since Katie let it slip when she came over to watch them while I went to creative meetings for the album. She has no clue how to keep her mouth shut sometimes. 

Josh has been hanging around quite a lot lately, making me feel a little better. The girls adore him, and he adores them. I don't know, there's a lot about him that makes him seem irreplaceable. Maybe this was how things were supposed to work out. 

Tonight's a little different though. He's been drinking a lot more than I've ever seen him drink, causing a little knot in my chest. Generally, he handles alcohol much better than anybody I've ever dated. 

We are out at an album launch party, and it has been our first true public appearance together. Some people here are surprised, but other's who also attended the press conference kind of guessed it. 

Devin is in the far corner away from me, when we make awkward eye contact. He quickly looks away, before I can do anything. Tim's here, in good measure. Our publicists thought it'd be okay for the public to know we are on good terms. I think good terms is a stretch, but we are civil. I think he really wants to be as involved with this baby as he is Gracie and Maggie, so I think he's willing to do anything in his power to be on my good side. 

Tim comes over and hugs me, congratulating me, causing every camera in the room to turn toward us.

"It sounds awesome. I'm excited to see how it charts." He smiles, knowing he honestly can't say anything further without the public screaming remarriage, or ugly fight. 

"Thank you!" I say, overusing my twang, like I do in scripted situations. Tim smiles even harder, knowing this is the case. He then turns toward Josh and reaches out a hand. 

"Tim." He says, introducing himself. They've met a few times in passing. Josh stares at him for a moment, making my chest feel tight. He then goes to shake Tim's hand, but stumbles forward a bit as he does. "Woah there buddy!" Tim says, catching him before he stumbles further. Josh shakes Tim's hand once he's stable enough, before stumbling toward the bar. Tim's smile is a little dimmed, as we try to somehow signal to each other what's going on. 

I head into the restroom to check my makeup, and to catch a breath after that narrow encounter. After a few minutes, Tim walks in, looking concerned. 

"He's wasted." Tim says, louder than suitable. I motion him to be quiet, and he looks away. "He needs to leave, before he ends up doing something." Tim whispers. I swallow hard and think of what to do. "I'll call him a cab." Tim suggests. I shake my head. 

"He won't leave unless I'm going with him." I reply softly, feeling anxious. Tim's a little on edge with my statement. 

"He doesn't need to be near you that drunk." Tim says, widening his eyes and pointing to the door. I nod slowly. 

"He's never hurt me before, Tim. I'll be fine." I reassure him. He doesn't seem to agree with me. 

"Has he ever been that drunk around you? I mean... I don't think he can really keep a solid train of thought like that" He says, sounding almost fearful. 

"I'll be fine. I'll take him home." I say, grabbing my keys from my bag. "If the press asks, say the girls called." I plot. He nods, and remains in the bathroom for a few minutes after I leave, making sure none of the news outlets think we were in the room together. 

I walk Josh in the house, and he collapses on the couch. I leave him downstairs, covering him with a blanket, while I go up and get out of this ridiculously tight dress. I look at myself in the mirror as I grab for the zipper, after something makes me stop. Something feels odd...

I slip off my dress, and search for sweats and a t-shirt, when Josh manages to stumble up the stairs. He comes over to me, and starts to kiss my shoulders. He then tries to get to second base with me, pinning me between his body and his hands. 

"Babe, not tonight." I say, shrugging him off. He stands for a moment, while I start to put on clothes. Once I throw my shirt on, I feel his hands grab me. I turn toward him, seeing what he wants, to be met with a slap. 

The blow knocks me off my feet for a moment, and I stumble toward the wall. I hold my hand over the area he hit, and freeze for a moment. I look back at him, seeing a new expression in his eyes. I walk past him, trying to reach a phone, when he grabs my neck and throws me on the bed. Before I can even react, he has peeled off my underwear, and is unbuttoning his pants. As I go to scream, he places his belt across my mouth, and starts to whisper in my ear. 

"You scream, baby. Let the girls know." He whispers, making me feel cold. "You're mine now." I whimper, feeling more than helpless. My mind keeps running through different escape routes, but none are possible at the current moment. He's straddling me, while I'm facing down. He kisses my neck, causing me to release a little cry. He responds to this by punching each side of my head twice. 

My ears are ringing, as the soreness from the blows sets in. My body feels cold when I feel it. He's raping me... Tears are running down as I try my hardest to just blackout for the moment. Nothing is happening, Faith. It's a dream. Just a dream... 

I open my eyes and stare at the clock. It's been two hours... He suddenly stops, and ties something around my hands, before tying a piece of rope around my mouth. I let out another cry, feeling a pit in my stomach.

He takes my arm, and starts to lead me down the stairs and out toward the barn. He leads me to the loft of the barn, and pulls out a ladder, as if he had thought this through. He orders me to stand up on the ladder, while he ties the other end of rope that around my arms around a hook in the ceiling. He moves the ladder, causing me to fall a few inches, before I'm dangling by the wrists from the ceiling. 

My hands burn, as he sits on a bale of hay and watches me. He leans over and pulls out a shotgun, awaiting to see the look in my eyes. I shut my eyes tightly, and let out a few small cries. 

The morning sun is starting to rise over the horizon, causing the light to pierce out of the window behind me. I feel the warm light against my bare back as I try to think of new outs. Nothing is coming to mind. I'm literally hanging from a ceiling... I look up to see the hook is a closed loop, so I can't even use my momentum to get out. I try to push the rope out of my mouth with my teeth and tongue, but it's tied too tight to even budge. 

Josh should be sober by now... Why is he doing this? 

He gets up, and pressed the barrel of the shotgun against my stomach, and pushes me, causing me to sway. He loads it, and fires a shot just past me. I feel a part of the bullet skim my side causing me to attempt to shrivel up. He starts to cry out laughing at me. 

"Oh my god, did you just pee yourself?" He taunts, making me feel sick. He shakes his head and continues to cackle as he walks around the loft.