The S Label

'Oh my God, what have I done?'

I don't know where to start this 'story'.

Okay, that was a lie. A fancy intro to warm up all of your little minds before I jump straight in to this horror story of my first relationship. It was a horror story for him anyway, and a neat monthlong drama serial for me.

Let's call him R. We met on a video gaming platform - MMORPG - where a lot of interesting people exist. At the tender age of 13, MMORPG's were heaven. You had this massive pool of people who you could have fun with, mess with, wreck and ditch if it came to that, or you could stay behind and try to work your way out of the shit you left behind. A Sunday night puzzle, if you felt up to it. And if it worked neatly, you go and do the same to some unsuspecting passerby in real life, maybe with a twist or two to up the level.

So.

R.

I befriended him because he was genuinely amusing. I told him that. He was confused, not that I bothered to explain. And soon, he declared he had a crush on me. And I wanted him to like me. And when he liked me, I wanted to make him like me more. It was an ephemeral obsession. He said he was 21, I said I don't mind. He asked me if I loved him back, I implied I did but never said it explicitly. We took it to Kik. We took it to Facebook. You lot can scoff at 'online dating' but at this day and age where we got Tinder, Grindr and airplanes, I don't see why not.

He asked for pics. I didn't want to give him pics; I was still skeptical about that. I didn't know what sort of a person he was - What if he was smarter than I assumed him to be? (Quite frankly, he didn't sound too bright) But what if he somehow spread it online, and decided to destroy my life and hold shit against me? Not happening.

So I told him no, just to see what he'd do. It was just sadness at first, so I gave him a pic of one of my friends. He liked it. That childish bastard wanted more, and threatened to break up if I didn't send him another. 

Frankly, I didn't care. But I wanted to see how far he'd go - I wanted to make him beg for it. Once I knew what made him beg then oh the things I could do! 

I sent him a photo of me cosplaying as some guy anime character. He didn't like it. I asked him why, why he was so demanding and why he wasn't satisfied with what I could offer. Oh boy did he try to explain. 'It's not the real you', he said. And then I laughed and told him, 'that's really me alright'.

Then the gifts came. In game, of course. Still, they helped a bunch. The pretty clothes and cool weapons helped me gain a bit of power and fame. Maybe R was nice to keep around after all.

But then, he asked: "Why are you so cold to me? Do you even love me?" 

Again and again I convinced him I did.

He kept coming back to me, and when he didn't I went to him. Sometimes I played it off as childish immaturity - Being 13 rocks! And admittedly, I had a lot of learning experience to catch up on. Once he said he wanted to come to where I lived. I agreed. He wanted to hold hands and touch and kiss. It was a lofty dream that I knew would never happen, so instead of playing along now I upped my game and let him know exactly that.

"Good evening," I said one day after a period of silence.

"Bad evening for me," he replied.

"Aww, why? Maybe you should get some sleep."

He said something about how sleeping wouldn't do anything because trying to make me outright say 'I love you' was screwing his life up.

That made me want to do it more. But instead of being nicer, I became colder. He said he was drunk because of me once. I vaguely wondered whether it was true, then decided to pretend it was anyway.  I asked if he'd still like me if I were a guy. He said hell to the no, that's just wrong. I knew it was based around religion so I didn't pry. I simply reminded him that he was the one who told me 'true love shows no bounds', and we left if there.

***

After a month or so, I went back to check out his Facebook. Seems like he deleted the account - Pity, I was curious.