From A Cabin in the Middle of the Mountains

Chapter 4 ~ Revealed

            After sitting in my seat for a moment wondering what had just happened, I stood up and walked back into the living room. Laya was on the computer, staring at the screen with almost no interest. As I walked past her and to the couch, she looked up at me and showed an almost unnoticeable smile.

            “I saw that.” She said as she swerved her chair around to face me.

            Did she see everything that went on in this building? Laya seemed to have her eyes trained on me at every moment of the day. Maybe it was because I was the newbie to their little group.

            I looked at her and gave her a “what are you talking about?” face.

            She rolled her eyes. “That kiss, or, should I say kisses.” Laya smiled, “I knew that would happen sooner or later.”

            I sighed. “Yea, well, I didn’t. It kind of took me by surprise,” and Ben too, from how he reacted. Maybe it wasn’t that big of a reaction, maybe I was just over thinking things. I may be doing both, but I was just surprised by his actions because never before had anyone done that after I kissed them. Okay, so I’ve only ever kissed one guy, my first boyfriend, but he had never done that, ever. He had always just accepted it and been like me after; a bit nervous and unable to control a ridiculous smile. Ben was so different, in almost every way I could think of, than any guy I’ve ever looked at or had a crush on. To me, Ben is so much bigger and open, but more closed off. Now that I think of it, I don’t know where I could have possibly come up with that, but that was just the feeling that I got when I’m around him. Ben hadn’t told me anything about his past, though Laya told me about his fall, and yet I’ve been able to tell him almost everything having to do with my dad and mother.

            “…I’m so convinced that you guys are perfect for each other. Like, he’s always been looking for someone to be with, and I mean really be with, for a long time, and it’s been getting more evident in the past little while that he really wants someone who…” Laya was going on about Ben and me, but I wasn’t listening. I was still zoned off in my own thoughts as she droned on, not noticing my eye glazing over. “… but I never got it. He’s always had someone by his side. He’s always had a friend to go to, but he wouldn’t come. He’s always hiding…”

Hiding. The one word I got from her speaking gave me a bit of light. Maybe he was hiding what he really felt after we kissed inside because he just doesn’t want to show it. Could he possibly be doing this to lure me in further? I almost completely doubt it, ‘cause that would take planning, or it would have to be a part of who he is and what he does regularly to girls.

Which would mean that I’m not the first girl to fall for him, or the first girl he’s kissed or felt anything really for. If that’s really true, then he would have to of had either lots of time with one girl to do this to, or many girls to practice on. The former would be fine with me, seeing as though I’ve had a boyfriend before that I was serious about. The latter though? That would mean that I have fallen for a player.

Or someone that is confused on what to do, and with who.

“… he’s a dependable person. Ben has a great personality and cares for those he doesn’t even know. There has been so many times that he’s protected some little kid at school from a stupid bully. I’ve never seen him mad enough to hurt someone or cry, and I’ve known him since I was, like, four.” She finally paused to take a breath.

I snapped out of my fog. “Well, some people don’t like to show everything.

She shrugged and nodded, “I guess, but he’s such a calm person, never bothered by something unless it touched a nerve.”

Did I touch a nerve? I stood and walked over to the door.

“I have to go find Ben,” I said over my shoulder to Laya, then to myself said, “and find out what happened.”

After throwing on my jacket and shoes, I walked out of the door and around the corner on the porch. From my immediate glance, I could see nothing, but as I continued to walk forward, I could see someone sit on a park bench on the third hill. I flipped up my hood to keep my hair dry from the rain that was pouring down and walked over to the thick wood bridge that connected the first hill with the second. I stopped before I crossed it and looked to where the bench sat. Ben was leaning against the back of the dry wood in that lazy way that guys did. He was looking straight ahead at the snow covered mountains in the distance and sun that was just above them, but barely hidden by the clouds that were paining the sky a mixed shaded grey. The features on his face were a bit relaxed but still twisted in deep thought. I took my first step onto the bridge slowly, keeping my eyes on him. As I continued to walk, I could see more of the details better. His hair was soaked and stuck around his face, partly covering his eyes. His clothes were soaked as well, but mostly his shirt. The one other thing that was wet was his face, but only on his cheeks and under his eyes. Once again I stopped at the end of the bridge, which was also at the bottom of the steps up to the gazebo. As I wiped rain of my face, I saw that the rain hadn’t touched his face and made it wet, nor was it his hair. I was watching him cry, silently, on the old bench. His hand rose to his face and wiped off the fresh tears that were about to fall off of his jaw.

I stepped up onto the first stair. “Ben?”

His chest rose and fell with a sigh. “Hey,” he said in a low, raspy voice caused by his crying.

I slowly walked over to him and sat beside him. “Are… are you okay?”

Ben thought about how to answer for a second, then shook his head “no”. “I haven’t okay for a long time,” he took a deep breath through his nose and slowly let it out, “but nobody really knows that.”

“Why?”

He was silent, then spoke, “Because, I haven’t told them.”

I nodded and asked, “Well, why not?”

“Because Jessie, nobody needs to be troubled by my problems. Nobody needs to hear about them and worry that something is wrong. The all have their own problems, they don’t need mine.” He continued to look off into the distance and continued quietly, “Plus, nobody cares enough to listen.”

This all took me aback. The guy that was so tough and willing to listen to others is unable to tell people what is happening to him. “I’ll listen.”

I looked at his face just in time to see another tear fall down from his eye. He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it again.

I moved closer to him and took his hand. “I am here for you, and I always will be.” His fingers laced through mine and he looked at me for the first time. His thumb rubbed my hand as he looked at my eyes and wiped his cheeks again with the back of his other hand. He gave me a weak but genuine smile.

“Thank you.”