Never • The Lost Daughter | A Draco Malfoy Love Story

Chapter 41 - Traitress

For the next couple of hours there were two things on my mind; to avoid Harry as much as I could - not only because, even though it wasn't my fault, I couldn't look him in the eyes, but also because I knew he would start asking questions about the meeting - and to catch Sirius in a room alone, hoping I could have an actual and not typical conversation about the matter of me spying Voldemort.

The first of these two things, I actually managed to do; up until bedtime, I had hardly even looked at Harry. Talking to Sirius was something quite more difficult. I had to wait till everyone was asleep and then tiptoe in the dusty rooms, only to find him with an open book in his hand in the reading room.

"Sirius," I said. It sounded more like I was just spelling his name out instead of calling him.

"Anne," he said with the same deep tone I had just pronounced his name.

Sirius looked heavy headed and stiff today. He didn't greet me with the usual smile but with something similarly charming and crossing; his eyes. He looked upon me the way he never had before, almost telling me exactly what he had in mind only by staring.

"You're very brave, doing this for us, Anne," he said soon.

"I wish I had thought things through before I made this mess... I feel less and less Ravenclaw these days."

"Your mother once said the exact same thing," he added.

Sirius stood and walked to the corner of the room to get a drink from a dusty bottle. He took many sips before turning to look at me again.

"I loved your mother," he said and sat back on his armchair. "You know... in a way. I see every inch of you and every inch of her. You're just the same. You're so alike and you don't know. And I miss her."

"In what way?"

"Huh?" he sipped.

"In what way did you love her," I explained and at the same time demanded.

Sirius didn't answer. He stood again and walked uncomfortably to the nearest window where he could see the rain falling. In any other case I would have walked up to him, hug him and embrace him, because I thought I knew exactly in which way he loved my mother.

"You know Lucius, Lucius Malfoy..." he said still looking outside. "He always had a thing for Sophie. Always looking at her, always staring, sometimes mocking, even. It's what you call a teenage crush. Always pissed me off, that thing. Always made me angry. But Lucius got over it at some point. He was a Malfoy, after all. He couldn't reach as low as Ravenclaw. And there were those rules they have in the family; these rules happen to be the same in my family as well."

"But you didn't follow them..."

"No, I didn't. The Malfoys are so much stricter, though; you know how they are."

"Not all of them," I said but it somehow sounded like a question.

"You think so?" he paused to look at me over his shoulder. "Maybe you're right. I hope you're right," said Sirius. "Otherwise you would have done the same mistake your mother made."

"And what is that?"

"She fell for the bad guy," he stopped and didn't start talking again for a long time. "I don't blame her though. She didn't know. Just like you didn't know when you first started, did you? It's just what you do after you realise he's the bad guy. Do you leave, like she did? Do you try to change him, like you do? But no one ever gives it up for the friend, the one to always take care of you, the one to wipe your tears when you're crying, the one you treat like a brother, your shadow, your secret lover, your-"