Never • The Lost Daughter | A Draco Malfoy Love Story

Chapter 48 - A New Friend

It was the middle of October. My guardians had stopped following me everywhere I went. They were not supposed to, because the two months of close observation had not yet passed. I had now met both of them. To be honest, they were talking to me more often than any other student in the school.

"Young people weren't there when your mother was at large. If your fellow students knew her, they would be kissing your hands by now. Don't worry, soon enough they will understand that you are more like her than like him."

The more I came to know my mother through other people, the more I kept thinking about how similar our stories sounded. She fell for the bad guy, I did too. He lied to her, Draco did too. She left him, I did too. Of course, I couldn't compare Draco to Voldemort; that would be ridiculous and unfair to Draco. But the situation was vaguely similar and the more Draco and I forgave each other, the more I felt like I was letting my mother down.

"My God, this is going to be the death of us," Draco would say when I'd sneak up to the Astronomy Tower.

We never discussed what we were anymore. 

"My God, I love you more and more every day... I want you..." he would say.

But at the same time, we made nothing official and both of us seemed satisfied with that. Not because we didn't love each other enough to get back together, no questions asked, but because we knew that any relationship between us would be short-lived and full of pain.

The sweetness of a kiss in the shadows was like sour medicine that had to be drunk at all times and the more you drank it the more bitter it became. We knew what we were doing was wrong. We were both wrong.

"Where do we stand?" I would ask.

"I have the faintest idea."

And then the kissing would resume and we would forget all about it and only enjoy each other's company.

"It's the last time we are doing this. We should forget all about us."

"We have had three last times this week alone..."

Luna would watch me reduce myself to nothing every day; consumed by the mess I was making of my life and dragging Draco in it as well. By not addressing our problems, we were numbing the pain. But nothing could fool Luna.

"I don't understand what you guys are doing. You meet in secret almost every night. You are obviously in love. Anne, you even smell like him. But you're not together?" Luna, always the voice of reason in my life, was trying her hardest to understand.

"I wish it were that easy. It's complicated. We both hurt each other - we shouldn't be together."

"Well, you're hurting each other more by being something in between. You love each other! Just let yourselves enjoy it."

"And for how long? Sooner or later we will end up fighting each other. Order vs Death Eaters. And then? We will have more separating us than our own problems. We will have to the whole world against us."

So quickly, Luna, the most understanding person in my life, realised that we were rightfully stuck in a Russian Roulette between love and duty and then love again. She watched me cry at night because I couldn't have him and then cry harder every time he kissed me.

*     *     * 

After one month that I'd been talking with my guardians, I asked them if they could let me go for a walk to the forest. They didn't accept at once but after two days of thinking about it they decided that they would let me to, but they would be at a reasonable distance.