Lies - Criminal Minds || Spencer Reid Fanfiction

28. Flashback #5

The Daughter

My heart is pounding so hard and my mind is all fuzzy with the different thoughts suffocating me.

Please say no, please say no, please say no.

I turn around and glance down at the bathroom counter, my eyes blurring with tears as I stare at the stick there.

"NO!" I scream, throwing it across the bathroom, it ricocheting off the wall and bouncing to the floor next to me.

"NO! NO! NO! NO!" I yell, stomping on it and slouching down against the wall, sobbing.

"This can't be happening to me!" I wail, feeling like a child.

I run my hands over my face, dragging my fingers through my hair as I look at the bin across from me, four other pregnancy tests tossed inside it, all five of them staring me in the face.

With shaking hands I get to my feet and drag myself out of the bathroom, stumbling down the hall and into the living room.

When I sit down on the sofa, the front door opens, and in he walks.

"Honey! I'm home!" He calls and cackles. "Fuck have I missed you," He whistles, swaggering over to me with a sloppy smirk.

"Fuck sake, what's happened to you? You look like you've seen a fucking ghost," He jokes, yanking me up from the sofa and against his body.

I sway dizzily and he steadies me.

"Shitting hell, Mel, what's wrong?" He steadies me and looks me in the eye.

"N-n-nothing." I stutter, trying to force the word out despite my fear.

"You fucking idiot," He laughs, slamming an angry kiss to my lips before smacking my backside and laughing under his breath as he sashays towards the kitchen.

"I know I've only been away a week, darlin' but have you lost some pounds? You're lookin' kinda bone-y." He smacks his stomach for emphasis and I gulp.

"I'm pregnant, Darren." I gush before I can back out of telling him.

"What?" He laughs, sticking his head around the kitchen door to gawp at me standing there in the centre of my living room, looking so out of place.

"I'm pregnant." I say quietly and he straightens up, his face serious now.

"You can't be you dizzy cow, have you taken a test?" I nod my head and he frowns deeper.

"Well then take another one!" He yells angrily and I hurry out of the living room and along the hall, snatching up the bin from the bathroom before rushing back into the living room and dumping it at his feet.

"There's your other test!" I raise my voice; half in fear, half in desperation.

He looks down at the tests; all staring up at him with double pink lines telling him positively that I'm pregnant.

"You stupid arsehole." He says through his teeth, glaring up at me through his lashes.

"Darren I-"

"I told you to be careful!" He lunges forward and I scream, ducking too late.

He snatches me by the roots of my hair and yanks me up straight, stretching me onto my tip toes as I scream and whimper, clawing at his hands.

"You daft fucking bitch, don't you realise what this is going to do to me?!" He booms, shoving me brutally away from his body, throwing me onto the couch.

"I fucking warned you!" He yells as I cower into a sitting position on the other end of the sofa, trying to distance myself without running away.

He's livid as he storms in a circle, scratching his hands back and forth on his head, pulling his fingertips down his face.

"You daft fucking cow," He's hissing under his breath while frantically pacing.

"You have to get rid of it," He says eventually, turning to me abruptly and I jerk away, bracing myself for impact.

He lunges down and snatches me by the front of my dress, yanking me off the sofa, making me fall to my knees before pulling me up to my feet, holding me right in front of his face before backing me against the bookcase, ramming my back against the shelves. I scream out in pain, books falling to the floor.

"Do you hear me?" He says through his teeth, forcing me to look him in the eye by holding my jaw so tight I'm frightened he's going to rip it apart with one flick of his wrist.

"Get. Fucking. Rid of it," He says and I nod frantically despite his grip.

He shoves my face to the side and my neck cracks as he lets me go, letting me tumble to the floor.

"And get this fucking shit-hole cleaned up." He hollers, kicking the bin across the room; littering the pregnancy tests in a shower.

The front door slams shut behind him and I lay there, on the floor, my entire body shuddering with sobs.

I crawl to the armchair and lift the seat-cushion up, pulling out the secret phone I have tucked under the springs.

I call Caitlyn, sobbing, and she tells me she'll be here as soon as she can.

I crawl around the room, dragging myself to the mess and cleaning it up, pulling myself to a stance with the book case; righting the books on the correct shelves before there's a knock on the front door in the usual pattern and Caitlyn comes hurrying in; her face a mask of horror and worry.

"We have to get you out of here." She says as I collapse into a wreck of sobs and tears in her arms.

She tells me everything's going to be okay, she tells me I don't have to worry.

But all I can do is worry.

I have his abomination of a child growing inside of me and I know in my heart of hearts I can't bring it into this world.

But that doesn't automatically mean I can take it out of this world, either.

I know I only have one choice; but it's heartbreaking to make, and I'm terrified to make it.

*

"You don't have to do this." Caitlyn tells me as she holds my hand, looking down into my terrified face with tearful eyes.

"Yes I do." I tell her adamantly and she kisses my hand.

"I can get you away from here, you can go to England. I'll protect you, make sure he never hurts you again." I shake my head, that won't do.

"He'll only find me again, and when he does, he'll kill me. We both know that." I shut up as just then the door opens and the nurse and doctor come inside.

"Miss Joyner?" The doctor asks and I nod my head. "You're sure this is the right decision for you? There's no going back." I look back at Caitlyn and nod my head.

"Some people say abortion is wrong, Doctor. But I know I cannot have this baby."

My voice breaks on the final word and I cover my mouth with my hand, my frail shoulders shaking as I try to swallow my sobs and fail.

"Ssh, ssh, it's okay Melanie, I'm right here." Caitlyn says soothing, wrapping me in her arms.

But I have a baby growing inside of me. A real baby that one day could be something beautiful.

And yet here I am, about to take it away.

"He'll kill us both if I don't do this." I whisper against Caitlyn's neck.

"Who cares about me, Mel. I'll die protecting you from that animal."

"I mean he'll kill us both." I say, covering my tummy with my hand as the nurse and doctor talk together at the back of the room.

Caitlyn steps back and looks down at me, her own tears pooling her eyes.

"You are the bravest woman I know. And one day, with the right man, you will make a perfect mom."