Redemption (boyxboy) (18+)

Chapter Thirty-seven

Stage Five: Acceptance

Nate scrunches his toes in the sand of Venice Beach, watches the sun slowly sink toward the ocean. He's not sure what he's doing here; he feels like he was sent by something, that this place is important, but he can't remember what or why. It may be something as simple as not having any place better to be.

He's been lost since his time in the Nevada desert, in every sense of the word. He's not sure whether he's going to run away or testify, not sure if Reid would ever take him back, not sure how it would work out even if he did.

And Christ, Nate is lonely. He was never much of a people person, but he'd become accustomed to having someone there that could understand him on the few occasions when he did have something to say. He misses having Reid around to laugh with, to hold his hand when he needed it, to be his partner. He misses their weird hybrid sign language, he misses his type-to-talk app, he misses the Camaro. Drifting through the world alone is grating and exhausting.

So he's just sitting on a beach, waiting to find some sort of answer. Waiting for a sign.

Waiting for a miracle.

A woman wanders slowly up the shoreline, a red-tipped white cane sweeping across the sand in front of her. Her hair is as dark as the sunglasses that hide what Nathaniel can only assume are blind eyes, but when she reaches him she stops, seeming to stare straight at him.

"Can I help you?" He signs before realizing his mistake and blushing. But how is he going to communicate with someone who can't see-

"Nope," she answers his signed question with a wide smile. "But I think I can help you. God, you're handsome."

The blind thing must be an act, he thinks, but then she flops down into the sand beside him and from this angle he can see behind her glasses. Not only is she blind, but her eyes are missing.

He tries signing again, beginning to be thoroughly creeped out. "I don't know how much of a compliment that can be coming from someone who clearly can't see."

She laughs, tossing her head back. "I like you. You're different."

Nate frowns and looks away. Like he needed some stranger to tell him that.

"Look," she says, "I don't usually do this, but the spirits - they're screaming at me to talk to you."

"Spirits?"

She bows her head, waving her hands theatrically. "Psychic Penelope, the self-proclaimed Wandering Oracle of Venice Beach, at your service. You were waiting for a sign, yes?"

This is the last thing he needs - some charlatan using parlor tricks to prey on the last hope of a desperate man.

"I don't believe in psychics and I really don't want a reading-"

"Too bad. You're getting one. Now shut up and let me give you your message so I can get back to my paying clients."

She reaches over and takes Nate's hand between both of hers, her clunky silver rings cold under his fingers. It's the first time anyone has really touched him since Reid and he finds himself almost curling into the comfort against his will.

She speaks slowly and emphasizes every word, as if what she's saying is of grave importance. "You need to know that Reid still loves you, every bit as much as he always has, and that he will defend and protect you forever. And you should really try to stop blaming yourself so much, because he doesn't. Not for what happened to him, or how you ran, or any of it." Penelope rubs Nate's hand, gives him a small encouraging smile. "You're a good man, Nathaniel. As long as you remember that - remember who you are - it's all going to be just fine."