My Foster Life (rewrite)

Chapter One_ Intel

Eyes, closed. I could see it again. Almost like yesterday. The snow on my skin and beneath my feet, my breath showing in the cold of the air. I blinked and he stood there before me. My brother. Derek. But I knew it wasn't true. I knew I would watch him fall once more but, as always I couldn't stop it from playing it out as it did that day.

I turned and ran, treading as fast as I could through the thick snow, barefoot with Derek chasing after me. My mind making everything slower than it actually happened. I turned around just as I heard the shot, I slowed to a stop as did my older brother. I took notice of his hands on his chest as he looked up at me. His green eyes wide and scared, he dropped to his knees slowly. As fast as I could I went to his side as he laid there in the snow.

His breath was shallowing, skin turning cold, lips as pale as his skin. I could see the life fading in his eyes till it was no more, till his heart took one last irrational beat, till his lungs gave his last warm breath that left the lips of the only person who would whisper to me in the darkness when I was afraid of the monsters under my bed. The red of his metallic, crimson, blood pooled around his lifeless body seeping through and staining the snow with its horrid color. It didn't stop me though. I laid next to his stiff body and closed his eyes to let him rest in a better place.

₪Now₪

The memory was still fresh in my mind, always an open wound. Sometimes I wish for it to go away but it never does so I have to live with it. I was only 12 at the time but it's done, over with, there is no rewind button. He used to be there to protect me but now he's not but instead gone. I was on my car ride back to the Foster center where I would then wait for someone to transport me to my new foster home. I closed my eyes and pressed my forehead against the cool glass that was caused by the late September weather. I remember looking up into the tree line and seeing a shadow of a man move by. When I was interrogated by the police later on, I told them I saw nothing other then my brother dying.

Clearly it was a lie but they didn't suspect. The warmth on my face suggested that we had moved past the large buildings of New York and only brought me closer to another family. You know you have it pretty bad when you keep changing foster homes and the local Foster receptionist knows you by first name and face. I'm almost asleep when the car comes to a stop but I just stay there. I flinch when the driver touched my arm, a freshly new bruise starting to spread from the large, callused hand that roughly gripped my upper arm the other night.

"Let's go inside" she was trying to be calm and kind but I could still here the underline tone of aggravation and tiredness. I was wordless when I got out of the car like I was the whole ride there. Getting my two bags out of the back, I sighed before heading inside where I just know what will happen.

"Hello Marie" the receptionist said as soon as I walked through the doorway.

"Hi Tanya" I said in the most polite tone I could muster at the point.

"I guess we won't be seeing each other anymore" she suddenly said and it made me stop.

"What do you mean?" There was an edge to my voice and she could hear it.

"They didn't tell you" she sighed "you're going all the way to Illinois" my eyes widened for a second, but I covered it up.

I'm strong against other people, but against myself there is no weaker person. Memories flood my mind as push them away, far away into the back of my mind.

I go take a seat like normal and wait until the transportation gets here.

*Later on*

Finally after about 5 hours of sitting here doing completely nothing the driver arrived. As soon as I am in the car and my things are in the trunk we begin our way to Illinois.

I just sit there watching out my window as the scenery is constantly changing, from skyscrapers to the woods to long stretch of road with fields on either side. I watch the farmers out on their fields mapping out what they will do for next growing season. The forests then block my view again.

More fields and woods, little towns and some stuff I just don't pay enough attention to. My driver isn't very chatty and I'm thankful for that, but I can tell he has an attitude that needs adjusting. It took everything in me to keep from jumping out of my seat to strangle him.

"You must have done something pretty bad if they are moving you from New York all the way to Illinois" he then half as smirked "so what did you do?" He connected gazes with me through the rear view mirror

"it ain't your fucking business" I snarled, he frowned and huffed.

"Whatever" he mumbled under his breath. I put my back against the seat and once again let my gaze fall out the window. About a hour later I seen the sign 'welcome to Illinois' and I knew it wasn't to soon before I meet my new family and wait for all hell to break loose.

He stopped at a bus stop and told my to get out. Soon throwing my bags beside me he gave one last look at me and left. I snarled at his behavior and thinking that someone needs to adjust the attitude.

I hear people walking behind me but one pair stopped and the person spoke "hi I'm Tessa, what's your name darling?" I turned to greet a woman about late thirties she looked anyway.

"My name is Marie" she smiled

"That's a pretty name, so what brings you here Marie?"

I couldn't help but feel awkward as she seemed so happy next to my tense and slightly angry body poster. "I'm here for my foster home" I said without looking at her

"Wait your my foster child?" Her tone was surprised and she pulled out a paper and then looked at me but smiled. "Welcome to your new family" she threw her arms around me and I hissed in pain as her arm hit my already tender bruise. She jumped back confusion and concern laced her features and I held my arm where the bruise is.

I also don't like skin to skin contact, not since... I block the memory from my mind. We loaded up my two bags in the back of her truck before she started the drive to her house and I was shocked. It was two stories and made of stone and wood beautifully created. I was in awe and I seen the woods behind the house making it feel mysterious. I smiled I think I could handle this home.

"Well come on in, I have some others you need to meet" her voice brought me out of my trance like state. I flinched again as I remembered the last time I was in a household that had more than 3 children. I grabbed my bags and made my way to the door. Well this is the beginning to a fresh start in which my slate will never be completely cleared.