// Michael //
-
"people will do anything to distract their heart. they will do anything to distract it from missing someone."
-
"you doing okay, mike?" ashton asks me for what felt like the thousandth time today, but it being only the third.
"i'm trying." is all i reply with, like i did the other two times. ever since a week ago, all that i've done is sit in my bed, well more like couch. ever since she sent me the last text message, it's all that i've done besides the lads trying to make the best of my last days here in New York. even though i told them i'd only stay for a few more days, they're still trying to make me stay. they tell me that i won't be able to make things right with her when i'm back at home, but the truth is, i won't be able to make things right with her again.
after this misunderstanding, i don't think i'll be able to get her back. well, i actually know i won't get her back. she has her mind made up this time, and i know i'm not going to be the one to change it. she looked even more hurt than before, her eyes were so torn inside and broken, as if i broke her last string. no matter how hard i try to tell her that Val kissed me, she just won't listen. she says things like 'Val loves me too much, so just fuck off' and other things similar to that. but if only she knew, if only she knew how hard Val tried to get me to do things with her.
i'm so fucking done with all of this, Amethyst and I were going strong, it was like how it used to be. like back when we were just a teenage romance with no problems ahead of us. but Val had to ruin it; she had to ruin everything between us. she had to randomly come up and express her feelings for me out of nowhere, and make Amethyst believe that it was all just dejavu for her. where I kissed someone else and she believed that I did it again. I thought she knew I wouldn't make that mistake again, that I learned my lesson. but I guess she didn't trust me enough.
"are you sure?" ashton asks again. over this time I've been here, I feel like all three of the lads have become more than friends to me. they're like family to me now, and I know it'll be hard to say goodbye to them based on how they've been there for me all of this time.
"I'm sure, thanks Ash." my voice croaks. he nods in reply with a worried smile. back at home, I didn't know calum and ashton very well, but I'm glad that I've become as close with them as I am now.
"we're gonna miss you a lot, y'know." ashton spoke with his head hanging low.
"I'm going to miss you guys too." I reply. I really hope they understand that it's not because of them I'm leaving, it's not because of anyone. well, except Val. everything is because of fucking Val. I'm leaving because I don't believe that I'm getting another chance this time. I know I'm not getting another chance with her, no matter how many times I've tried to tell her. to tell her how it wasn't me this time. but I can't. she won't listen to me, no matter how many time I call or text, all I get is nothing.
"you should stay." another voice comes from the other side of the room, the voice being calum's.
"you guys should come with me." I say playfully, hoping they wouldn't take it seriously. no matter how much I've loved living with them, they have their own lives here. calum owns a record shop that he began when they first moved here at 18 years old, ashton has a recording studio that's on the other side of town, which he makes tons of money from, and luke works at a store that I don't remember the name of. they all have lives here in New York and I can't take them away from that. no matter how much I'm going to miss living with them.
