Chocolate Eyes and Warm Hands

Chocolate Eyes and Warm Hands... Part 7

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My heart was pounding. It was so… unbearable. Just the sight made my heart chocked with pain. It took my breath away. His pale, translucent skin was whiter than a vampire’s. He was so skinny, and he seemed so fragile. The number of his once light, fluffy full head of blonde hair was now cut in half, with only a light coating of hairs as pale as his face. He was like a glass figure. Too clear, too fragile, too still to be more alive than dead. The only thing that kept me from suspecting him as such were the bruises along his arms. And yet, he was beautiful to look at. I walked up to his bed side, to scared to touch him, just barely able to hold back yelling at him for breaking up with me. I wanted to hug him, embrace him, but I was sure his bones would snap in half if I so much as lay a finger on him. His eyes were closed, and I feared he may already be dead.

Trying so hard not to bawl, I whispered, “Anthony?”

His eyes flicked open with a start, and I smiled at him. His eyes were as full of chocolate as ever. They were weary and tired, but still full of life. Thank God. He smiled at me back. His smile hadn’t changed either. “You found me, Hannah.”

All at once, I experienced the most peculiar thing ever. I started laughing out loudly, sobbing so hard, and feeling such strong anger all at once. Then they came out one at a time. I felt a boiling feeling swell up, till all the built up steam escaped my mouth. I became so hot my tears dried up. It was hard to resist striking him. I raised my voice louder than I’ve ever heard it before, and I first heard the words “You idiot!”

Shock controlled Anthony’s face. I startled him. It must’ve rang out into the hallway, because I saw the doctor looked appalled through the door out of the corner of my eye. I kept going.

“Do you know what I felt like when you broke up with? It crushed me! And then, and then… you just disappear! Without a word! Do you realize how much Bart and I worried about you? Think about the people that love you, you jerk!”

I was yelling at a boy with cancer after he just woke up from a nap. I didn’t care. It was Anthony; it would be okay.

I soon slowed down, and more tears gushed out. “I missed you so much. I thought you hated me. I thought you deserted me. Everything became ruins without you, Anthony. Don’t you realize how much I love you?!?

Out they came. It was surprisingly easy to say that. It was true. I felt the words pop out and lay between us. We both stared at them. Then we looked at each other. I blushed a heavy red. He blushed even more, adding more color to his canvas face, but then smiled his tender smile. I didn’t remember his glassy figure or his lack of hair or the line of bruises. All I saw was Anthony, the boy I met on the bus. The boy in the baseball cap.

Memories flooded in next. I remembered all the funny things and idiotic actions that our classmates experienced while he was sick and I was broken. I laughed and laughed, and he laughed with me. He would cough heavily, and several times the doctor would rush in here, and then, whenever I’d check and make sure he was okay, he would start laughing even louder.

We caught up and talked like we used to. For a while, despite my surroundings, nothing really changed. We would laugh more, we cried more, and we yelled at each other. Together, we built back up the bridge between us within an hour, and it was now stronger than ever. We promised to never hold back again.

Here is a piece from one of our arguments:

“Why didn’t you tell me you were sick?”

“I was trying to protect you!”

“What are you talking about, idiot? Protect me from what, anyway? Stupid! I can take care of myself, thank you.”

“What happened to ‘I was a wreck without you!’?”

“I don’t sound like that!”

“Answer the question!”

“Shut up!!”

“Answer the question!” He coughs.

We wait.

“Fine! Maybe I was sad because I missed you? Maybe I had fallen in love with you? Did you ever think of that?”

“Of course I did! Did you ever think that I didn’t tell you because I care about your happiness? I don’t want you moping around because I’m sick!!!”

“Well, I know now! Does it look like I’m moping around and crying myself a river?!?”

“Well, did you ever think that I love you too?!?!?”

 “Huh?” I said, suddenly back to normal volume. My face could’ve been mistaken for a big pink lollipop. His face became could’ve been mistaken for a stop sign. We both replayed his words over and over, becoming more flustered each time. I was the first one to smile. He loves me. He really loves me. “Took you long enough to answer, dummy.”

He smiled back, his face finally calming into regular color. I turned around to see Mr. Smith, Mrs. Smith, Mom, Bart, and Dr. Watson (Anthony told me the doctor’s name) peaking into the hospital room. They were shocked, surprised, and giddy. It looked as if they were watching a soap opera unfold. As soon as I spotted them, they retreated back into the hallway as if nothing had happened.

As soon as I knew they were gone far into the hallway, I turned back toward Anthony. After I took my eyes off him, when I turned around, the pale, vampire skin and too-visible scalp became clear once more. He was sick. The boy I loved had leukemia. No matter what I do. No, that’s not true. He could be cured, it was possible. It was going to happen. I didn’t care what fate or destiny or God said about the topic; Anthony was going to live.

We were silent for a while, just soaking in the reality of the situation. Dr. Watson, knowing that he was intruding on a bad moment, had a mission. Carrying it out, he spoke softly, “Hannah, I’m afraid Anthony will have to rest more now. Do you think you could…?” He let the sentence drop, along with my heart. I wanted to be with him every minute. He wasn’t going to fight this alone. However, reason came in. He needs to rest to be able to fight. Reluctantly, I stood up and walked out, giving Anthony a tiny wave. He was already sound asleep.

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