(De'Anna in MM)
Sitting in the front row of Tone funeral with his mother Janice and his sister Karlie sitting on either side of me with our 10month old baby girl India in my arms has brought reality back. I don't want to believe he's dead, he was only 21. He didn't have a chance to live but I guess this is what come with the game. It's like we were just sitting at home talking about how we are going to spend the rest of our lives together. We were talking about marriage and even another baby.
"De'anna" my sister Khadijah call knocking me out of thought, I look at her worried face. "Are you going to be okay?" She asked picking India up.
"Yes" I lie. I am going to be miserable. I've been with Tone ever since I was 15, lived with him since I was 16. How am I going to get over this?
"Look, I'll take India for the night, looks like you need a night off duty" she offers and I shake my head not accepting her offer.
"I can't do that to you, I'll be fine" I say reaching for India but Khadijah wouldn't hand her over.
"Stop. You need some alone time. I'll drop her off in the morning. I love you DeeDee" she says and kiss the top of my head.
"I love you too Dijah" I reply. She grabbed the baby bag, turned around and walked away. I got up and walked to the casket, knowing this is the last time I will ever see him again I stand at the casket and look at him. I start crying wishing he would just wake up and say it's a joke he played on me, wishing he can just tell me he love me one more time, wishing he could hold me for one more night.
"Antonio baby wake up, I need you, India need you, Ms Janice need you" I say softly to him with tears covering my face. I just stand there looking at him for the last time. I'm going to miss kissing his soft plump lips, admiring his dark brown skin, hearing how his day went and all the crazy things that happened that day just because I love hearing his voice, I'm even going to miss the arguments and the fights we had. Thinking about it all it makes me cry harder. I quickly walk out the church , I can't see him like that.
I got in my red Audi R8 and started punching the steering wheel. Fuck!! When I finally get my self together I pull off listening to nothing but the wind blowing. Stopping at red lights were the worst because I could do nothing but think about him laying in that casket.
I pulled in the driveway and looked at the 8 bedroom, 4 bathroom house that Tone bought when I find out I was pregnant. He put me through some shit but he took care of me. Throughout all the shoot outs, kidnaps, home invasions, hospital visits he still somehow made me feel safe.
"How am I going to do this?" I ask myself then get out the car. When I get in the house I kick my black Louis Vuitton Red Bottoms off at the door, jog up the stairs and went straight to the room I've been sleeping in by myself since last week. I look at the California king bed with red and black comforters and start missing his arms wrapping around me at night. Instantly tearing up again I walk in the master bathroom and look in the mirror to see my red puffy eyes and now proofed out hair. I grab a hair tie and put my hair in a high bun.
I peeled off the laced black cocktail dress. Stripped out my undergarments, turned the water to how I like it and slid in. Taking a quick shower i got out in 15mins because I know Grey and Smooth gone be here so we can go handle some business. They're close friends with Tone.
I turned the water off, clean up the clothes, put some lotion on and walked in my closet, putting on PINK brand undergarments I then slid on some black jogging pants, a black crop top and some bred 11 lows, walking back in my room i go to my dresser and pick up my Heckler and Koch P30 making sure it was on safety before I tucked it in my jogging pants, and put my phone in my pocket. I jog back down stairs, almost on que my phone starts ringing I pull it out my pocket and it's Grey.
"I'm bout to open the gate now" I say in the phone
"Alright bet" he say and hang up. I stuff my phone back in my pocket and ran to the front door putting in the gate code that was next to the door. I grabbed my house keys off the island in the kitchen and ran out the door. Locking the door behind me I hear Grey pull up behind me. I go down the stairs and open the passenger door to his black on black hummer.
"You got him?" I asked talking about the man who killed Tone.
"Hell yeah" he said with his dreads hanging in his face.
"Bruh you sure it's him?" I question .
"Ma... We got him" he say , I nod convinced. I sit back as Grey turn the music up blasting Team Eastside Dame.
