I Can't Stand You Sherlock

Chapter 23: Away From Safety

Look out for the <>!

I woke up at Walter's and Ameila's house. As I pushed myself up, I felt the room spin. I was going to vomit. I swung my legs over the bed then ran to the bathroom, loosing everything I ate yesterday. Wondering through the house, I found myself in the kitchen to see it was 12:00.

I held my head in my hands and thought about what I did yesterday and what Walter had said to me. He was right, I was out of control. I had my time to mourn, now this is just childish games. I needed to get out of this rut. This town was bringing out the worse in me. I needed structure back in my life again. I had to leave, the sooner the better. But where could I go? I had nowhere to go too. I knew I needed help, this group was enormous and I couldn't bring it down alone.

I sighed and sat down at the kitchen table to think. I couldn't just leave without saying goodbye like I did last time. But I didn't want to tell them in person who I was leaving because I had given them more trouble than I should have. I didn't deserve to say to goodbye, at least not like that. I had to leave a note this time or something of the sort.

Before I knew what I was doing, I walked back into my room and got a paper and a pencil. I walked back into the kitchen and wrote.

Deal Walter and Ameila,

Thank you so much for everything you have done for me. Thank you for finding me and telling me that my nan died. I owe you guys so much and I know this is how I should repay you. By the time you read this, I will be gone. Don't find me. I need my space. This town is not good for me. I will contact you when I am ready.

You guys have always been there for me. You truly are good friends.

Maire

As I signed my name, my hands shook. I was scared. I didn't know what to do now. What was I going to do? Turn myself in or runaway? I walked back into my room and packed my things in a matter of a few minutes, then put on my bright yellow running shoes and headed out the door, unknown where I was going.

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"I only have 90 quid on me," I pleaded with the ticket seller for the boat back to England.

"Sorry sweet, it's 100."

"Please," I said, holding back tears in my eyes as the words to charm him were not coming to my mind. I felt broken, and I was sure that I wasn't the same person who got off this boat a month ago.

"Just move over and let these people go through," he said and made a jester with his hands signaling me to move.

I looked around at all the people waiting in line for the boat. I could pick pocket any of these people, but I didn't feel confident enough to do it. What if they caught on to what I was doing and they yell and I get sent to the jail? If that happened, I couldn't save anyone.

For the first time in a long time, I felt scared and I couldn't hide it. I walked off away from the people and I sank to my knees and cried. I was going to be stuck here.

"Maire!" I heard someone call my name. I refused to look to see who called me, not wanting to show my face to them. I felt ashamed about how I was acting. "Maire!"

By the second time they called, I finally looked up to see Walter and Ameila running up to me.

"We got your note!" Ameila said once they were in front of me.

"Yeah," I shrugged as I wiped my eyes.

"It's better than the last time you left us, but why can't you just say it to our face?" Walter said and offered his hand to help me up from the ground.