Retribution: Meri Yanamari

Breaking Point (Not in Contest)

Note: At this point, Azrael, sadly, was eliminated. This entry, while not in the contest, shows the event that took his life so tragically. And it shows, more importantly, how Meri reacts because this event right here is going to be the catalyst for her behavior from this point on. Because this is, indeed, her breaking point in one way or another.

***

Meri stumbles through a copse of trees and into a small camp. It's been ransacked, and the sound of voices sounds through the pines. A smile finds its way onto her lips as she sees Azrael crouching in the brush a few feet away. She's found him again.

His eyes meet hers, and an answering smile slips onto his full lips. Meri shivers, remembering how he'd pressed those same lips to hers. He stands slowly and makes his way over to her. Without a word, he wraps her into a tight embrace, burying his face in her neck and curling his fingers into her tangled hair. "I thought I'd lost you for good." The quiet admission assuages her fears that he might find her burdensome.

"Well, I found you." She runs her fingers through his thick, snow-encrusted curls.

Snow coats his lashes too as he moves back and strokes her cheek with cold fingers. A small, genuine smile makes its way onto his face, replacing his serious expression. "Yeah, you did. Now come on. Whoever did this to my camp is a ways that way. If we're quick, we won't be found."

She tugs his hand into hers, wrapping the warmth from her gloves around him.

This elicits a soft grin from him.

They walk back the way Meri came. Azrael salvaged what he could before she showed up, and hid when he heard her coming. When he saw it was just her, he came back out of hiding to join her.

Silence carpets the arena, but it isn't ominous or choking. It's welcoming and peaceful, lulling them into a false sense of security. Meri feels more at peace than she has since the start of this whole thing. Since ever, really. She walks as close to Azrael as she can, and their shoulders brush against each other every few seconds.

Azrael stops suddenly and tugs her into his arms, crashing his lips into hers with a ferocity that leaves her stunned and breathless. He's not usually impulsive. It startles her, but she finds that she likes this side of him. Likes the barely contained, animalistic hunger in his lips as he kisses her, taking what he wants and giving what she asks for at the same time.

When he pulls away, she stares up at him, confused. "What was that for?" she breathes, unable to move. Is it wrong that I want him to do that again?

"I... I just had to." He rubs the back of his neck with a shrug. Clearly, he's embarrassed or nervous of what she'll think. When she smiles at him, he relaxes and grins back. "Why? Want me to do it again?"

A blush rises into her cheeks as she turns away and heads further into the frozen, barren landscape that leads to the lake.

"Meri?" His soft call arrests her.

"Yeah?" She turns back around, looking at him again.

"In case I don't... Well, if I don't make it out..."

"You will!" Meri crosses her arms.

"No, I can't make it out if you're going to win. But... Meri, that isn't what matters right now." He looks down at the ground, scuffing his worn boot through the crunchy snow. "Meri, I love you," he whispers, his green eyes lifting to look at her again.

She can't help but believe him. In the last few weeks since this started, he's kept her safe. Almost died in some situations doing so, but managed to keep her safe, none the less. He's cared for her, held her every night, soothed her fears, and kissed her if she needed a distraction. Kissed her whenever he wanted to, in fact. And she knows now that it meant something to him. That it's more than just a sense of duty keeping him by her.

But she can't force out the same words. She can't make them slip past her burning lips. Say them, darn it all. Say them back! She can't. The words just get stuck in her throat as she stares at him helplessly, mutely trying to tell him she feels the same.

He clears his throat as he realizes she isn't going to reciprocate. "Well, okay. You're not ready yet. That's fine... Just... Meri, if I don't make it, I want you to know I love you. And you have to promise me that if I don't live, you'll make sure I didn't die for nothing." He steps closer, his chest brushing hers.

Fire courses through her veins as she stares into his deep, moss-green eyes. So beautiful and haunting. "I promise." Those two little words seal the deal. She can't back out now. But she's not going to let him die, right?

They step apart and go to continue on. But before they make it more than a few feet, there's a flurry of movement and a blur as someone's blade came streaking toward them. Neither of them have time to process it.

The blade sweeps across Azrael's throat like a harpist's fingers on the harp strings. He chokes and drops to his knees, struggling to stem the tide of red and at the same time trying to pull a weapon from his belt.

Meri turns to him in abject horror, watching as his blood stains the snow carmine. Azrael looks up at her and grabs her hand with his bloodied one. He forces his knife into her fingers and then closes her fist around it, pushing her hand back weakly.

"I can't," Meri whispered. "I won't kill you."

He pulls off his jacket and wads it up, pressing it to the wound as his vision blurs in and out. He can't focus on anything or anyone anymore. He has no way of knowing who has dealt him this fatal blow, but Meri does. Shaking his head in her direction, he struggles to move his arm up and point away from them.

Meri finally realizes, but she isn't focused on him anymore. She's stepping past him. When she speaks, her voice is stiff and astringent. "You were supposed to be his ally!" The accusation rings loud and clear in the empty plain of white. Endless light and white. It's all he registers anymore.

"Well, alliances have to end sometimes."

Meri's eyes narrow as she eyes Beckett Malen with blinding hatred. It bubbles from her core, filling her and welling within her soul. It begs for release, for the ability to fly free. She's been holding it back for years. Holding in the anger. Holding in the pain. Hiding her grief and the betrayal she felt when she found out her so-called mother wasn't her birth mom. Then losing Milan. Now Azrael. She knows deep down on some instinctive level that he has left her alone in this world. This is the final straw.

She's had it. She's had it with being kind or meek. She's sick of trying to give everyone the benefit of the doubt even when they clearly can't be trusted. No, she's done with all of that. "Well, thank you, Beckett. I never would've guessed," she snaps.

Beckett's eyes widen as he realized he's stepped over some invisible line. He backs away slowly, moving away from Azrael, who's gone still and quiet. Meri shoves the image to the fore-front of her mind instead of suppressing it. She brings it forward and lets it stoke the growing fire in her soul.

"Now, Meri... We can discuss this," Beckett says, holding his hands and the bloody knife out.

Mistake number one. Thinking that she would be willing to talk about it. Oh, she'd talk all right. With her blade. "Yeah, come over here and we'll talk," she snarled, twirling the blade in her fingers. She'd never actually wanted to use one of these on someone before. Never. But now it was all she wanted. Everything Milan had taught her came rushing back. The weeks of throwing knives and throwing stars. More weeks of bow and hand to hand combat. If she'd been more inclined to let her inner turmoil and rage out, she might've put this knowledge to use sooner. But after years of suppression and oppression, Meri had allowed herself to become docile. On the surface, anyway.

Not anymore. Never again. If she made it out of this Game, no one would dare to challenge her true nature. No one would question her fire or beat her for showing it. No, she could finally be herself. Happy, spunky, and determined. Stubborn would sum it up nicely.

The promise she made comes back in full force. I promise. I promise not to let his death be in vain. Without a single shout or warning, Meri attacks. The little girl with innocent eyes and a big heart is gone. She's never coming back.

In a way, Azrael's death is worth more than he can imagine. It gives her the strength to go on. For him. For herself. Forget revenge. This is about finding myself again and believing that there can be a chance at happiness again. Even after all I've been through. Because I promised him not to let his death go unheralded.