Red Lips

Red lips {2}

Give me love was blasting through my headphones, i love ed sheeran, he was one of my favorite artists.
My playlist:
Give me love - ed sheeran
Once in a lifetime - one direction
Clouds - one direction
Drag me down - one direction
Deathbeds - bring me the horizon
Chelsea smile - bring me the horizon
Black magic - little mix
Salute - little mix
Suicide season - bring me the horizon
Dont go - bring me the horizon
Photograph - ed sheeran
Lego house - ed sheeran
Tenerife sea - ed sheeran
I see fire - ed sheeran
Thinking out loud - ed sheeran
The end - little mix
Stockholm syndrome - one direction
Pray for plague - bring me the horizon
I had a little bit of songs but those were my favorites.
Once again chels called and i decided to turn off my phone because she kept on nagging about how she was going to pick a purple dress then she saw this black one now she cant decide, i told her to get the black then she hung up and me, now she keeps on calling me but i wont answer because I'm tired.
I flop onto my bed to get the best of my Sunday night because when its Monday all hell breaks lose.
You cannot simply chose between one and another but chose between or the other.
Life cuts deeper than any blade I've set upon my skin
Pain is demanded to be felt, some chose to ignore it, some chose to embrace it.
Those quotes came to mind as i fell to sleep for some reason.
- 2 hours later -
{trigger warning}
"Shay!"
I sigh, there goes my nap, i thought.
"Yes?" I ask my mom from the top of the stairs.
"Can you come downstairs?"
"Sure," i say.
Today i woke up depressed. It was odd because i have nothing to be depressed for. I always had this temptation to cut myself. I had done it before but i was always scared that id get caught. My dad hadnt looked my direction in over a month, my mom hardly ever talks to me, and i caught my dad cheating last month. I couldnt help it so before i went downstairs i got my blade that i kept in my drawer and slid it across my thigh. I watched as the blood dripped from my thigh. The redness of it made me feel so in power, i slid it across my thigh again. i didn't mind the pain, that was the whole point of it, but the blood just made it seem even more perfect. I stared at the blood drip from my thighs until it stopped and i cleaned up the mess i made. I washed the blade and put it in my drawer before going downstairs.
"Yes mom?" I say..
"Jesus, what took you so long?" My mom asked irritated.
"Nothing, mom." I say rolling my eyes.
"Ok, put the cookies in the oven brad is coming over."
"Fine."
Brad's mom and my mom were friends, they came over all the tjme so i knew brad pretty well. He was a nice guy and very polite so if i told my mom brad and i were going to Netflix and chill wed literally just Netflix and chill, nothing else.
- 30 minutes later -
The cookies were still in the oven when brad and his mom came over but they could wait.
"Hey shanay." Brads mom greeted me.
"Hi, and its shay." I corrected her.
"Oh thats right, sorry dear." I sighed.
"Its ok."
"Wow, shes grown so much." I sighed again, how many times do i have to correct this woman.
"Mrs.van, i dont go by either female or male pronouns, im non-binary, i go by they/them pronouns, ive told you this many times. Its starting to come off as disrespectful." I say sighing once again at the end, it truly did come off as disrespectful.
"That's insaine, your a girl, you should stick with the female pronouns."
"Mrs.van, your being disrespectful in my home and I'm telling you this in a polite manner." I say.
"Well it makes no sense, I'm sorry dear, I'm going to continue to use the female pronouns."
"I hate to break it to ya val but this ain't the sixties where everybody hates the different people."
"You dont call me val! You call me mrs.van."
"Well val van, 1) i hate your name 2) i hate your face 3) you can go fuck yourself."
My mom was quiet, she knew what this bitch was saying was direspectful.
"Lets go brad." Val van said tugging brad, he gave my a sympathetic smile and left. I sighed running up the stairs to my room to go take another nap after this long shitty day.
I woke up with a major headache, my head was spinning and it was the worst day ever. I decided on going to the mall and i bumped into chels, "hey girl, how are you doing?" She asked, i rolled my eyes, this was going to be the worst day ever.