Quotes & shit.

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I was awoken from a peaceful slumber, to hear my mother yelling. It was only eight in the morning & she is already being violent. It seems like the only time I am happy & have any peace is when I am asleep. That is exactly why I hate waking up! I sigh, get out of bed & make my way into the kitchen, where she is.

I clear my throat to let her know that I am in the room. She is blind, so even though I would rather her not know that I am in here, I wouldn't want people sneaking around me in a room if I was blind.

Immediately she turned & directed her meaningless yelling towards me. I tune her out; she does this every single day. She wouldn't if you weren't here. Yeah, if you were dead she wouldn't be yelling at you. Go ahead, kill yourself. No one is going to care anyway.

I brush off the thoughts & make my way into the living room. I grab my computer & sit at the couch. After opening it, I pull up my schoolwork & begin to do it. Yes, I am homeschooled. My mom says she is homeschooling me because of her religious beliefs. But, if you ask me, I think it is just another way for her to have complete control over me. She hates everything that I want to do that she hasn't suggested or pushed me into. She even told me I couldn't hang out with certain people just because she didn't choose them to be my friend. That isn't what she told me, she actually gave me some bogus excuse about me being so rebellious when I hang around them & I couldn't hang out with them anymore. I already dress the way she wants me to, talks the way she wants me to (out loud anyways), walks the way she wants me to, & pretty much do everything that she wants. But yet, she says that I am rebellious.

The only thing she has ever been right about on her yelling rampages is that I hate her. She is right; I tried since I was a little tot to love her. But, her hate towards me only made me hate her, no matter how hard I tried to love her.

She pisses me off because when we are alone she hates me & yells & puts me on stupid ass restrictions. Then, when we are in public & she tries to act like we are best friends. I just give her nasty looks & push her off. It pisses her off, but I am tired of this!

My dad doesn't ever say anything; he just sits there & takes her side. But, then when she isn't around he accuses her of unfair punishment towards us. But, it kills me how he doesn't have the balls to say that to her face.

I just wish I could die & everything would be brought to light & they would get my little brother out of there. Or, someone would find out & get us away from this demon that I call my mother.