I dare You

5. I just don't know what to do

Hermione had been home for only a week, but it felt like an eternity. She had been trying to be cheerful, but her parents had noticed straight away that something had changed. Her mother had asked her, if something had happened at school that had made her so sad. Hermione had tried to tell her, that she had met somebody... Somebody who was really special to her. Somebody that made her heart sing. Somebody that loved her.

She sighed. She was sure, that her mother knew that it was a matter of the heart. How sappy that sounded! It was nevertheless true though. It broke her heart to remember that last night they had shared. They had been snuggling on the sofa until they became tired. Then Draco had transfigured the sofa and she had slept in his arms. She didn't want to miss that feeling ever again! Feeling him close next to her, breathing softly, warming her heart and soul.

She tried to stop herself thinking about it, but it was too late, tears were already streaming down her cheeks. She pulled the plush cushion close to her chest and just let go. She tried to drown the pain of having had to leave him in her tears, but his face just kept slipping into her mind. The light blond hair, the silver grey eyes, the hard features that softened when he looked at her. It was another night she cried herself to sleep.

It was dark outside and it took Hermione a while to realise that there was an owl at her window. She got hastily up and let it in. A large eagle owl swooped past her. She recognised it immediately: It was the owl, which had delivered Draco's Christmas present for her. She untied the letter and small box from its foot and fed it some owl treats. It looked at her for a moment, before gingerly nibbling her hair. Then it spread its enormous wings and vanished back into the night.

Her hands were shaking as she opened the letter.

Dearest

Dear Hermione

Hermione

 My love!

Please know that my heart is breaking by the thought of what I have done to you. There can be no excuse for my actions. I was brought up an arrogant, spoilt prat, but only on the outside. Punishments were harsh and there was no excuse for being second best to you. Father made that clear on numerous occasions. I wanted to be myself for so long that I nearly thought myself lost before I met you.

I should have realised so much sooner, what you really are: witty, inteligent, charming inspiring and a loyal friend, fighter for the ones, which are lucky enought to be close to you. Without me realising it you touched my heart with your kindness. You gave hope, where no hope seemed possible any longer.

You brought light and love into my life. But there is nothing I can offer you in return except for myself. I would owl every witch and wizard in the world to tell them, what you mean to me. I love you, Hermione!

I was stupid enough not to want this feeling in my life, but when you kissed me for the first time you didn't just steal a kiss; you stole my heart with it and I fought so hard to get it back. I am ashamed to admit that I was afraid of having feelings for you. I am not any longer afraid! I wouldn't be able to survive the next year without the knowledge of your love hidden deep within me.

I don't mean to scare you, but when you read this letter something truly horrible will probably already have happened to me. I won't tell you what, as it would hurt you too much and I want to keep you safe, so please don't ask me. When I think of what you might do when you discover what has been done to me... My pain seems to have no limits any longer.

But I will be strong for you and make sure that there is a future for the two of us, a future where I can walk proudly down Diagon Alley hand in hand with you. Where I can ask you something I don't dare thing about right now. The content of the small box should give you a clue...