"So, I'm a girl and my boyfriend and I have been dating for almost seven months now. It was so easy to talk to each other, we never wanted to be apart, and we would hug at least 5 times a day. Then the summer came. Since our parents didn't know that we were dating, he and I didn't see each other for those two and a half months. That really hurt our relationship. We've had some great moments with each other now that we're back in school. However, a week ago, things started to feel different. We don't talk or hug nearly as much as we used to and he seems to commit more time to his friends. I'm starting to feel neglected and like he doesn't want me anymore. If that's the case, I thought that he would have broken up with me by now. I want to talk to him about it, but I can't for two reasons. One, I don't want to seem dramatic. He hates all the girl drama. Two, my friend felt like her boyfriend was ignoring her and when she talked to him about it, he dumped her. I'm so lost and don't know what to do."
~Anon3
Going from an amazing relationship to one that's barely a relationship at all is always a difficult situation. Especially if you don't now how to handle it. However, I think that communication is key in scenarios like this. Even though talking to your partner without negative consequences seems impossible to some, you never know what the other might do or say. They may take it well, they may not. However, in order to maintain a good relationship, any problems that you see or feel need to be talked about.
In this case, I think that the problem could be easily fixed by a serious talk. If, for some bizarre reason, he were to dump you for trying to identify and fix a problem in your relationship, then- I'm sorry to say- he's probably not all that good for you. A healthy relationship is one where you can talked about its faults and hammer them out to make the overall relationship even better.
I think that the first thing that you would have to do is find a place and time in which the two of you can talk in private. Let him know that there has been something that's really been bothering you. Make sure that you have enough time to explain yourself as well as giving him time to speak. While you are explaining why you feel that way, let him know the exact reasons. Otherwise, he won't know what to fix and the problem most likely won't get resolved. When you are finished with that, let him know that this whole ordeal is upsetting you and that you are willing to do whatever is necessary on your end to fix it.
Hopefully, he will see that you are being genuine in this matter and the two of you can discuss it. In the end, you two still care about each other and you should let him know that. If you guys are good together, then the matter should be resolved soon. If he breaks up with you, allow yourself to grieve over the good parts of your relationship, but also recognize- that towards the end- that you were no longer happy with him. Then, find someone who will listen to what you have to say and is willing to work at your relationship together. Because a relationship takes two people, not just one.
I hope that everything works out for the best and that you find happiness in it's greatest and best form.
Questions, comments, or concerns? Let me know!
