Slave For Royalty

23

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I was consumed with so much emotion and confusion, but one thing I wasn't feeling, and for that I was thankful, was regret. I hadn't regretted it yet and that only led me to believe that deep down, I wanted this and I thought this was right. His lips were unbelievable soft, and skilled and warm. It was a gentle kiss, of which soon intensified as our lips moved as one, feeling the softest touch of his tongue as he trailed it across my lip, waiting for the permission of mine as we kissed harder. I couldn't stop my wandering hands as I feathered my fingers through his dark strands, sliding my hands down to capture his jaw in my palms and I pulled him closer, demanding more, intoxicated by the moment as my pulse raced hard. I didn't want him to break away from me and I didn't want to agree with the recklessness of my actions, I didn't want to be forced into believing this was wrong, but it was and it shouldn't of happened and he was right to stop me. My breathing was heavy and hard, my lips felt swollen due to the rush of blood circling and instantly, I felt the urge to cry all over again. "I'm sorry-"

My words were silenced by the touch of his finger against my lips, hushing me into silence as he shook his head, his eyes hooded and dark. "Life is much too short to regret, young one, regrets are wasted thoughts, focus on the present."

His words brought some motion of light into my darkened mind, but it didn't help the fact I was suffocated with a heavy brick load of guilt. Would Elias forgive me? Do I have to tell him?

I wouldn't of kissed him if I didn't truly want to. But I didn't know what I wanted so it wasn't exactly fair. "I don't want to be here anymore." I breathed slowly, trying to contain my emotions as I fought against my watering eyes. "-please get me out of here."

I watched the sudden transformation in the mans face as he frowned hard, battling with himself as he remained silent. I felt vulnerable and hopeless beside him, and I knew what the answer was going to be moments before he even opened his mouth. "It's a cruel world, and this one is very much not for you. You're like a mouse in the wilderness, the bottom of the food chain and nothing would please me more than getting you away from our awful kind. Know this, young one, the moment I laid eyes on you I was transfixed. And if I'm transfixed, you can bet your life that so are they, and I can assure you, they will never allow you to lay eyes outside of this place again."

I should of kicked and screamed at him, demanding answers on why he insisted on making me feel this way. Why he wasn't comforting me with kind soothing words, despite knowing better, making a promise of my escape anyway. But he didn't. He told me the truth.

"Can you leave please?"

He didn't even falter after those words passed my lips, as though he was expecting for me to ask of him, but I didn't want him to leave me really. I just didn't know how to face him now. I felt humiliated. I'd kissed him, asked for assistance in escape, and he laid me down in the hardest way possible. I tore my gaze away from him in horror, not all that phased as the bars to my prison miraculously opened for his presence. I felt as though I was slowly, tortuously, cracking. I was falling apart, but over what? Perhaps it was the regret, the shameless guilt that was aggressively gnawing its way into my skull, forcing tears to well inside my eyes, threating to fall. Loneliness consumed me once again, entrapping me hard as I didn't attempt to mask my sobs anymore, my quivering lips trembling as I threw my head into the hard mattress, muffling the sound of my pain absorbed cries. Why had I so foolishly kissed him? Loneliness? He was just there. And Elias wasn't.

"I HATE YOU!" I cried louder, no filter present as I let out a frustrated scream, no doubt irritating the whole prison as I failed miserably at controlling my emotions. "Damn your blood sucking, arrogant fucked up species!" I cursed. I cursed amongst all these people and the thought alone made me feel all the more awful. This wasn't me. I didn't break down and swear like this, I didn't freaking do this!