Tempting snapchats // CD

three

Am I supposed to answer? -Of course you are. I hear a voice inside of me answer my own question. I intend not to freak out about the fact of what just happened. It's not a big deal, isn't it?

Of course it's not.

I take a picture of myself that, quite frankly, you cannot see my face, so it doesn't matter. What should I type on it? Perhaps only a goodnight, but he did say he was looking forward to cuddle last night.

"Maybe next time you come over:)" I decide to keep it simple. I don't want to sound desperate or that I'm melting inside because of what he just said.

Why do I keep making this seem so important? It really isn't, and it shouldn't matter.

I don't want to keep making scenarios in my head that are not going to happen. Ever. Scenarios where Cameron finally kisses me, or likes me, or even asks me on a date?

Stop thinking is ever going to happen. -My inner voice reminds me. Of course, she's always there to make me come back to reality.

"April, the chinese food is here!" My brother yells from the kitchen. I go downstairs to be welcome by the smell of a glorious meal.

We eat watching That's 70s Show, and having small talks from time to time. I wish Cameron was here. He would make this funnier, happier.

"So, you still have a thing for Cam, don't you?" Chris asks me, surprising me by this unexpected question.

"W-what?" I almost choke on my food.

"You know, that crush you had on him, five or four years ago. It's still there, isn't it?"

I nod and keep my eyes on my food.

"I don't love the fact that you like my best friend. Therefore I don't think I can or will aprove it anytime soon. But, I think you're mature enough to make your own decisions, at yours and Cam's risk," he says surprising me yet another time.

"But, Chris, I like him. It doesn't mean he likes me back." I laugh at the thought of Cameron liking me.

"I know things that you don't. I see things that you also, don't. So don't underestimate my words."

I nod and do the dishes. I clean up the whole kitchen, so my parents don't have to worry about anything after their long night. They always have these type of dinners, and I know they hate assisting. Just like they hate their bosses, both of them work at the same office. They met at college, studying the same thing: law.

My body is tired, exhausted, I'll add, yet my mind keeps me awake, thinking about Cameron. About what my brother said. My mind ask me questions... What if Cameron does like you? What if what your brother meant by saying that was that Cameron told him that he likes you? What if Cameron asks you out? Stop.

I'm finally in bed, the place I wanted to be since I first woke up this morning. It feels good to be warm, and comfortable. But it would feel better if it would involve Cameron.

I close my eyes and begin to relax. Everything is better when it's late, and you're about to sleep. That's what I'm feeling right now. Pleasure. Sleeping is good, and is even better when reality feels like a dream. Cameron is my dream, and he's also my reality.