I open twitter and scroll through my feed. I haven't been on much lately because of the Thomas incident. the layout of twitter has changed, not so sure whether I like it or not.
all the tweets on my timeline are about Calum? they ask him if he is okay. I open his profile and read some of his tweets.
"every night I almost call you just to say it always will be you"
":("
"very much inspiration for new songs !"
I feel like crying again. I tried to ban him out of my thoughts for five days and I was doing okay so far but this just makes me so sad. he's still my sunshine and i don't want to see him sad. I wonder how things would've turned out if he was honest with me from the beginning.......
I go back to my timeline and see a video of Calum singing amnesia on stage. I click on the link and it opens in YouTube. I listen to the familiar song and hold my breath in when calum sings the chorus;
"I remember the day you told me you were leaving, I remember the tears streamin down my face. and the dreams you left behind you didn't need them like every single wish we ever made. I wish that I could wake up with amnesia and forget about the stupid little things. like the smiley faces you always sent through texts and the memories I never can escape, cause I'm not fine at all"
at this point I'm sobbing. I miss talking to him, but i know im doing the right thing. he lied to me about everything, if I had known from the beginning that he was Calum I wouldn't have embarrassed myself this much. I just cant adapt myself to this situation. he used me and I will never be able to forget that. yes, I liked talking to him but no, I'm not gonna let him use me like that
I feel like this is the sappiest chapter in the history of sappy chapters lmao
