Sanctuary Steps

Chapter Three

Regan
Eight years old.

I couldn't remember ever feeling so full in my life. I'd never been so happy, either.

It was dark and well past ten, and street lamps would light up the interior of the car as we passed under them. I was sitting in the back seat of the preacher's Kia, with Cassia's head on my shoulder. No sooner had we left her aunts house than she fell asleep. I took comfort in her being so close, as I gave directions to her dad. The last thing I wanted was to go back.

My coat smelled like pumpkin and spice from being in the closet, and it made me smile. I definitely preferred that settling onto my clothes than cigarette smoke. The whole house smelt like love and affection. Cassia smelled like butter and pie, but her golden hair was like strawberry conditioner. She really liked pie.

I watched as we passed the church, windows dark and asleep with the cold nights lullaby. We were almost there.

"Regan..." Daniel said softly while looking at me in the rearview mirror. We had nearly pulled into my neighborhood, and I gazed out of the back seat window with a grimly set face. I kept it turned away from him, so he wouldn't see my anxiety and the shame burning my cheeks. I didn't want to be here. My heart beat heavily in my chest and I let my lips dust over the crown of Cassia's hairline so that I wouldn't have to say anything.

Cassia sat on the right side of the car, and asked me to sit next to her in the middle so she could hold my hand. Her head was on my shoulder, and I looked over her at my neighbors house. Their lights were still on, but I couldn't see past the curtains in the windows.

"Stop here." I mumbled into my angel's hair. My house was on the other side of the narrow road, but I still didn't look at it.

The car stopped beneath a street lamp, and I clenched my jaw as the preacher looked out his window, putting the vehicle into park. "You live there?" I thought there was pity laced into Daniel's gentle voice.

"Yeah." I whispered, holding Cassia close. We were in the slums of the town, where feral cats ran the streets and gangs fought each other over drugs and other things I couldn't understand.

There was silence for a moment, before a seatbelt clicked free in the drivers seat. "Let me go in first, I'll talk to your dad. Watch Cassia for me, okay?" I nodded, but didn't say anything more. I hoped my dad was passed out and didn't open the door. I didn't want Daniel to get hurt.

The door was opened, the locks disappeared, and the door closed. The keys got left in the ignition so that the heat would still run. Daniel pulled his coat closer around himself as he glanced both ways down the quiet street before jogging across.

I watched him go up to the small, ugly house, feeling sorry for myself. The lawn was sparse, shabby and brown. There were no hedges or flowers to make it look better, nothing but empty beer cans and bottles littering the ground like weeds.

Daniel paused on the cracked  walk way to gaze out at the trash and shake his head, then looked over his shoulder at me. I held his eyes solemnly before looking past him at the warping wooden door. My muscles began to shake, and not because of the cold. Dad wouldn't be happy with me tonight. What would the punishment be? I held Cassia close to me as I watched Daniel knock on the door.

I held my breath, but for a while, there was no movement inside. The bluish, flickering light of the television could be seen through the window, but the rest of the house was dark and still.

Daniel pushed his glasses back up his nose with one hand, and knocked again. When he looked back at me for a second time, I swore there was hope in his kind eyes. He rocked on his heels with his hands in his pockets, waiting a while longer for someone to answer. The preacher tilted his head just slightly, as if some noise had drawn his attention. He stepped back from the door as if he knew what was going to happen, not taking his hands from his pockets.

My heart sank to my toes when the door flung open. What was I expecting? For dad to simply let me go and forget about me? It didn't seem too far fetched, but that isn't how it happened.

My father was a big man, but I'd never seen him look so small next to someone. It isn't that Daniel was physically taller than him, but the authority in his stance and the calmness of his gaze settled something inside of me. He stood as if he wasn't alone.

My father had a half empty bottle of Jack Daniels in his grasp, and took a swig while eyeing the man in front of him, seizing him up. I leaned over as far as I could without waking Cassia and rolled the window down a crack so I could listen.

"What's your business here?" Came the slurred baritone of my dad, voice far too loud in the darkness. Even with the drunk man nearly toe to toe to him, the preacher didn't back down an inch.

"Your son had dinner with my daughter and I. I wanted to make sure that was okay with you." Daniel said, voice collected and civil.

"Well it don't matter now that you already took him, does it? You tryin' to steal my kid?" He got closer to Daniel with each question. "Where's the little bastard at?" He spat, looking around the preacher to the car. He spotted me in the back seat and took a step towards the street, swaying on his feet as if a breeze could knock him over. "Boy, get over here!" He snarled.

I didn't move, my heart slamming into my rib cage as if it wanted to escape. His face got red with rage, and he started down the walk towards me, lumbering like a bear.

Daniel quickly got in front of him, a hand on his greasy t-shirt to stop his advancement. "Now, I don't think that you're in any situation to be having Regan around you. He doesn't need to see you like this."

My father gulped some more of his whiskey before throwing the bottle at the car, narrowly missing my window, and pointed his finger in Daniel's chest. The glass fell short and crashed to the ground just outside of the left passenger door, waking Cassia up. She lifted her head from my shoulder, eyes squinted with sleep.

"Don't you tell me nothin' about my kid. You don't know him, an' you don't have no right to say if he should stay here or not. You give me back my kid an' get the hell outta here, ya hear?"

"Sir-" Daniel started, but stopped when my father took a swing at him. The preacher merely stepped sideways, and the drunk man fell face first onto the lawn.

"Regan? What's going on, where's daddy?" Cassia asked sleepily, looking towards the window.

"If I asked you not to look, would you listen?" I asked quietly, glancing at her with a soft expression. I waited until she nodded, rubbing her eyes, before returning my gaze to my father. He hasn't moved at all since he fell.

Cassia didn't say anything, instead, burying her head into the crook of my neck as if I'd known her for years. I kept my fingers entwined with hers in my lap, and felt her slip back to sleep, now that it was quiet outside.

The preacher crouched by my father, and put his fingers to his neck. His eyes found mine and I just looked back at him, emotionless. Was he dead? A cold numbness spread through my chest and seeped into my bones. I wasn't afraid. Did I care that my father could be dead?

Daniel pulled a phone out from his coat pocket and dialed a quick number, then pressed it to his ear. "Stay there, okay?" He called to me, before turning his attention to the phone as it was answered.

I nodded and waited. I waited until the sirens came. I waited until I saw the flashing lights. I waited until paramedics hauled my father on a stretcher and into the ambulance. I waited until they left again, without the wail of sirens. I waited until the police cars came to ask Daniel some questions. Then they came over and I told them what happened, all the while holding fast to Cassia. I told them what would happen when dad was drunk. I told them I was glad that he was gone. I told them the truth.

They told me it was alcohol poisoning. They said Daniel wanted to take me. They said my father was dead. They expected me to be upset, having witnessed his passing. I kept Cassia's hand as she stayed fast asleep at my side.

I didn't cry. I told them I wanted to go with Daniel.