IF ONLY

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IF ONLY

If only she could see what she's doing to me. I'm head over heels for this soft, bright, pastel girl. But she's clueless, and maybe it's better like this. Because if she knew, then she would probably stand even further away from me.

If only she had never moved in my neighborhood and started attending our school. My life would still suck, but I wouldn't be a stupid teen girl in love with the most inaccessible person ever. I'd never fallen in love before, but the day I did, it had to be with someone like her.

If only I had control over my emotions and told myself to look away the first time I saw her. I would not be in this situation today, would I?

But there are still advantages to be in love with a girl that's pretty like a painting. I have a reason to get up in the morning and go to school: I know she'll be in front of the school, reading, when I'll walk in after parking my motorcycle. I have a reason to listen in class: I know that there's a possibility of her observing me if I'm not paying attention to her. I have a reason to be myself: I know she'll look at me if I stand out, if I become special. It's not very hard when everyone around you acts, looks and dresses the same, but it takes more than that to catch her eye.

If only she'd look at me.


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