Second Date

Chapter 13: Evil Ain't Easy

Chapter 13: Evil Ain't Easy

"Well, as I squabble me eyes. What a lovely night. A restful change from this afternoon. I trust tomorrow there will be no more...unpleasantries."

Wendy scowled. She removed her arm from Captain Hook's.

"No more unpleasantries?" Wendy lifted her chin. "You will not be joining us then, Captain Hook?"

Wendy had hoped to be insulting. But Captain Hook merely laughed.

True to his word, Captain Hook had honored The Darling's contract. Following their parlay with Mickey Mouse, he escorted Wendy through the Magic Kingdom without the slightest disturbance from Peter Pan.

It was wonderful. Peter Pan had simply been erased. Wendy's magical contract repelled the boy like inset spray, resulting in a marvelous, pest-free day. It was the jolliest Captain Hook had been since making Wendy walk the plank. Why, he'd even graced a little boy with an autographed picture - not with the boy in it of course! It was a snapshot of Captain Hook himself, which he signed with an inspirational quote: Remember, pirates never clean their rooms! Yo ho ho, etc - Captain Hook.

Although it was wonderful to feel that Peter Pan had been wiped from the face of the earth, the day had not been without conflict. Captain Hook had returned from Cinderella's Castle to find Wendy guarded by a band of undesirable Disney characters. The characters - Long John Silver, Jim Hawkins, Stitch, Todd, and that insufferable Jack Sparrow - were the outcasts of Disney society. Clearly this was the work of Peter Pan!

Captain Hook despised them all, especially Long John and Jack. They were shifty pirates, affiliating with neither good nor evil. Their moralities blew with the wind and their allegiances belonged to silver and gold. Captain Hook scoffed - bad form. Pick a side, and stick with it.

Captain Hook also disliked Jim Hawkins. The boy was a shark, silent and always moving. He was dangerously resourceful, and commonly drew from both good and evil assets. Jim identified with 'the good' but was not afraid to explore both sides; and that made him dangerous. So, when Jim remained on Wendy's left, Captain remained on her right. Just in case. And just until he could pick Jim Hawkins apart.

"The unpleasantries to which I referred, were directed towards your ragtag friends, Miss Wendy. However..." Captain Hook pushed Wendy up her family's doorsteps. "...you are witty has you are lovely. I shall look forward to that on our date."

Wendy pushed his hand from her waist. Darkly, she muttered.

"What?" Captain Hook said. "What was that, my dear?"

Wendy turned. She'd had enough.

"My date is with Peter Pan, not with you Captain Hook! You've spoiled everything for no other reason than you are a spiteful, unkind, evil pirate! Peter Pan and I will have a lovely date and there is nothing you can do to stop us! We are not afraid of you! And if you think that for one minute, I'm going to allow you to - "

"My dear." Captain Hook stepped onto the threshold, forcing Wendy against the door. He caught her hand before it reached the handle. "Do not run your mouth at me. For if you continue..."

He placed the tip of his hook upon Wendy's lower lip. The fragile skin puckered, but did not break.

"If you continue my little siren, then Peter Pan may not be as easily seduced. All it will take..."

Lightly, Captain Hook twisted his wrist. The metal tip pulled her skin. "...is one flick."

He smiled as Wendy squirmed. Smugly he removed the hook. "Do I make myself clear?"

Wendy touched her lip, inspecting for wounds. There were none. But Captain Hook's lewd comments were sharp enough to draw blood.

Wendy glared. Then pushing from the door, she stood up to Captain Hook.

"You are disgusting. You are vile. And Peter Pan will stop you. Because you, Captain Hook, are worthless for love."

Trembling, Wendy gripped her skirt. She held her head high. "Do I make myself clear?"

Captain Hook stared. Then, his eyes flashed red.

"You will pay for that. Mark my words, Wendy Darling. You will pay. I? Worthless for love? Well. You should know." Captain Hook opened the door. He threw Wendy inside. "Because Peter Pan cannot love! So you are worthless for his!"

The door slammed. Captain Hook turned. He froze as Wendy reopened and slammed the door at his back, getting the last word.

Captain Hook hissed.

"How dare you. You little..." He fingered his hook. He could feel the metal flexing. He almost retaliated. He almost crossed the threshold, dragged Wendy Darling from her nursery window, and sliced her lips from her pretty little face.

But Captain Hook did not. For one, the girl's parents were inside and Peter Pan was surely waiting at her nursery window. And two...

Captain Hook gazed from The Darling's doorstep. There was a couple across the way, sharing a streetlamp. It was a heroine and a villain, and they caught his attention.

The woman was glittering directly beneath the light, pure as snow. The man was reclined from the light. Rest against the post, the man spoke softly to the woman. They exchanged politely until the man advanced. Then, perhaps a little sadly, the woman left.

"Well, well." Maleficent melted from the darkness. Standing aside Captain Hook, she gestured grandly to the man and woman slowly splitting apart.

"Elsa of Arendelle. And Prince Hans of the Southern Isles." Maleficent laughed. "Charming couple. How quaint. Prince Hans was soliciting the little snow queen for a date, no doubt."

Captain Hook watched Elsa depart. She left a trail of twinkling snowflakes.

"Dear me." Maleficent said. "The snow queen's cold shoulder. Alas. Poor Hans and his quest for power."

"Or are Hans' intentions otherwise? Could he be in love?" Jafar smoked upon the doorstep. Shifting into a scarlet genie, he gleamed at Captain Hook with golden eyes. "Or are villains worthless? Worthless for love?"

Captain Hook bristled as Jafar quoted Wendy's curse. He could still hear her, echoing in his head.

"Worthless." Captain Hook strolled down the steps. Naturally, the villains joined Hans. They fell into step, matching each other's pace and feeding off each other's anger like a pack of wolves.

"Worthless for love. And worthless for dates! Villains are the luckless scum of Disney! Why should only heroes be privileged with dates? Tis the fault of that Mouse! Mickey the Good! Mickey the Glorious! Mickey the Great! Mickey - " Captain Hook snarled. "-the glutton of villains!"

A voice spoke overhead.

"Guess evil ain't easy? Is it chumps?"

They stopped. Heads revolved to a lime-green sparkle hiding atop the lamppost.

"Miss Bell." The villains growled at Tinkerbell as Captain Hook tipped his hat. "Yes. Evil is a tragic, parasitic character flaw. Tis bitter. Very bitter. But so..."

Captain Hook iced his voice. "...is jealousy."

Tinkerbell tipped over the street light. "True. Both of them - bitter to the bone. But, do you know what makes evil and jealousy sweet?"

Captain Hook raised a brow. The villains leaned, inviting her response.

Tinkerbell smiled. She pointed at Wendy's nursery window.

"Revenge."