Bring Back Hope (Janewt/Minewt AU)

Chapter 6|Part 2

A groan escaped Newt as he very slowly stirred awake. The dim light in the room hurt his head even though it wasn't much. He felt weak, his arm throbbed so bad he could feel it pulsing and throbbing. He groaned again and opened his eyes as he lifted his other hand to his head, blearily looking around his environment to see Alby looking down at him with a blank expression.

Then emotion began to drown Newt very suddenly as he came to realization. It didn't work. He wasn't dead. Tears instantly began filling his eyes as he looked away from Alby and used his good arm to cover his eyes with the crook of his elbow bent over his nose. He held in his shuddering breath, his throat feeling drier than the Sahara desert. He heard Alby sigh very softly through his nose, "I'll go get Minho..." He softly said.

 That honestly made Newt a little angry. Alby wasn't even going to try to talk to him like a human being. Just like everyone here, except Minho. Minho... The memory of Minho trying to stop his bleeding and keep him awake flowed back and more anger crept into his heart like kindling to a fire. 

He heard the door open and close, so he just laid there, still. He held in the sobs that wanted to escape him and just wrack his entire body. The door opened again then shut. Footsteps came over to Newt and he didn't bother to look at who it was. 

"...Newt..." Minho's voice passed over him gently. A hand began gingerly moving Newt's arm away from his eyes, but that's when Newt suddenly lost it. 

 He ripped his arm away from Minho's touch. Then he bolted upright, ignoring his muscles spasming with pain in protest. "Get away from me!" He yelled brokenly and scooted away until his back was against the cool headboard. 

Minho had jumped and his eyes went wide. "Newt, calm down, I'm only trying to help."

"I don't want your help! I don't need your help!" The blond shouted back as his breath began straining and picking up already into a dangerous pace. 

"Newt...Newt you have to calm down. You're already starting to have a panic attack. Please, just listen to me." Minho said firmly, but still with a deeply caring tone as he held his hands out as though approaching a wild animal. 

This made Newt feel even worse and he was screaming now. "I don't want to listen to anything you have to say!! Why couldn't you let me die, Minho?!" The poor boy could barely see through his own tears as he fought them with everything he had to keep them from falling. "Why couldn't you give me that?! Why couldn't you let me just leave?!" 

"Because I care about you Newt!" Minho shouted back loudly. "I fucking care about you so much, I couldn't let you do that to yourself! You have so much to live for!" 

"Like what?! What the fuck could I possibly have to look forward to for the rest of my pathetic life?! That maybe one day Janson will go easy on me?! Or that you'll be stupid enough to love me back?! Or that the others won't look at me like some kind of freak?!" Newt screamed so loud Minho knew he had to be tearing his vocal chords up more. 

But the words "you'll be stupid enough to love me back" struck him like a spear through the chest. In order for Minho to love him back, it would mean Newt was in love with him in the first place. How could Newt possibly think that Minho didn't love him? He loved him more than anything or anyone in the universe. Reality came crashing around Minho like the mirror that laid shattered on the bathroom floor. 

Minho didn't know what to say or do to calm Newt down. Newt was clearly deeply devastated and pissed, and Minho just stood there like a deer in headlights. He had no idea how to get the endless reign of words to stop spilling from Newt's lips. 

The smaller boy was screaming as loud as he possibly could. He was dizzy, feeling like he couldn't have enough air in his lungs but he had to let this out. "I have absolutely nothing to live for, Minho! No one wants me here! There's nothing in my future, except these four walls and Janson! I'm never going to be worthy enough to be loved again and that I'm nothing but a toy!!  A used, disgusting toy!!" Newt squeezed his eyes shut and gripped his disheveled hair tightly with both hands as he looked down. 

Minho knew that since Newt wasn't looking, now was his chance to break Newt free of all those awful thoughts that clouded and tormented him. He had to remind him of one thing that was true... He quickly knelt on the bed, moved Newt's arms aside and took his face in both hands, then pressed their lips together all in a split second.

Newt gave a sound mixed of several things. His hands instinctually went to Minho's chest to shove him off as he normally did with Janson when he wasn't bound. His body had rejected such affections for so damn long nearly every day that it didn't register as something good at first. But eventually, after his eyes going wide, he relaxed a little. 

But Minho didn't make the kiss last long. He pulled away and slowly let go of Newt's face, "Listen to me... You do have something to look forward to. You just may not know what it is yet. You're so important to me. I really care about you and when I saw you bleeding I started to think I didn't want to live either... It's because I do love you back. Newt...I love you." His tone was so sincere, loving and genuine it would have melted the heart of anyone. He looked so deeply into Newt's eyes it was like he was speaking directly to his soul. 

 Newt was frozen with wide eyes for a moment as his breath came to a slow. His face was red from screaming and embarrassment, and now he looked like a deer in headlights.

 Then he began to cry. 

Minho instantly felt his heart give a lurch and suddenly he felt so guilty he thought he was going to cry. "Oh fuck...Shit. I-I'm so sorry, Newt. I'm such a shank. I shouldn't have just jumped on you like that, I didn't even think--"

"--It's not that you slinthead..." Newt interrupted through his ragged breaths and tears. Then he let out a small sob and wiped his own face as he looked down. 

"W-What then?" Minho asked worriedly as he lifted the slender male's face back up with his hand gently.

 Newt took in a couple sharp breaths and let them back out in another sob, "......No one's told me they love me in so long......" He wept softly.

 Minho's heart lifted that he hadn't made Newt feel attacked, but it was an emotional roller coaster. Minho knew all too well what it felt like to feel unloved. But Newt...Newt deserved to be so loved. He mustered up a smile as he kissed Newt's forehead, then his nose, then his tear-stained cheeks, then his chin, and just anywhere and everywhere he could to show his love to the boy.

 All the while Newt held on to Minho's wrists gently and soaked in all of the affection while trying to stop crying. After a bit Newt finally took a deep breath for the first time in several minutes and met Minho's thin eyes, 

"I love you too..."