Psycho Sawyer (BoyxMan)

Chapter Twelve

📎AN: picture of their home... Pick whichever one looks the classiest in your head

Sawyer's POV:

I stared up at the apartment building Austin was in. It had just turned 4 o'clock in the morning, and I knew I couldn't slink back. I had to make sure that there was no chance that I could hurt Austin. If I ever laid a hand on him in a non-loving way... I shook my head ridding me of the dark thoughts.

I'd rather die than ever hurt Austin.

With that in mind, I decided to head over to the one man who claimed to be my biological father. He had to know more about that night, he was the one who found me.

As much as the very idea of being close to him made me want to fall to the ground and weep, I hailed a cab and ventured in to a much more professional and 'friendly' (to quote him) area of Brooklyn. Surprisingly, it was easy to grab a taxi, even at this time. Or perhaps all my bad deeds were coming back to bite me in the ass as I became closer to my father quicker.

Eventually we pulled outside of the row of terrace houses, and I paid the man. "Say, you're not Sawyer Riverstone are you?" I cringed. Perhaps news had gotten out about my return. I shook my head, stating I just had 'one of those faces' that was familiar to all.

He drove off, a little sloppily I'll admit, and I turned to stare up at the house. Maybe I should wait, it is coming up to 5 in the morning. It'd be rude. With that in mind, I walked straight up to the door and pound my fist against it.

Not much had changed since I had last been here, four miserable years ago. I knew they still lived here because ma's favourite flowers were lined up outside. The light from the other side of the door lit up, and I could hear the door begin to jingle. Preparing my steely gaze for a very annoyed father, the door Slightly opened. "Sawyer? What are you doing here?" My mother stood in her nightgown and my dads dressing gown. Her dark blonde hair, like mine, was long and thick. It ran in waves down her back. It conflicted somewhat hauntingly with the lilac and dark blue of her clothing.

She glowered at me through those not nearly as menacing blue eyes that my brother now owns. "Nice to see you too ma. Yes, I know it's been a while. Four years to be exact, but please! Don't show me any more love." I answered dryly, glaring back.

She sighed, flipping her hair away from her face. "Usually I'd tell you to come back later... But your dads up. He's been expecting you. Can't get any sleep! Neither of us have really."

"Could have fooled me." She laughed bitterly. She opened the door wide, to the modernly designed foyer and I stepped in. I towered over her and everything in it. She tutted and gestured with her head to follow her.

They'd moved into this house about 3 months before I had gone hay-wire. So everything was new, my maintenance rehearsal had been destroyed during long hours of staring at white washed walls and pretty little pills.

"Don't touch anything." She said, gliding up the stairs to I presume the study she mentioned earlier. I didn't bother retorting, I just brushed it off. Used to people, especially my mother, treating me like some... Criminal.

"He's in there." She walked away, the dressing gown flowing behind her. Not so much as a goodbye after four years of being apart. Once again, I didn't bother knocking.

I entered blindly to the room, to see my father still looking professional and scary. Even in his worn out pj's. "Sawyer. When I said I wanted your answer by the following morning, I hadn't meant this early." He said sarcastically, a ghost of a smirk cursing his features.

I didn't bother with the banter and small talk we usually had, rather, I decided to say what I had come here to say, regardless of the repercussions.

"What did I do?" He scowled at me.

"When? What are you talking about boy?" I shook my head, sitting down opposite him on the rigid red leather chair. "That night, the night. What did I do?" He pursed his lips and raised an eyebrow.

"You did a very bad thing."

"Yes, but what? I can't remember anything!"

"You did something wrong! What more is there to it? That's all you need to know!" I scowled, sitting up straighter.

"Why are you raising your voice? I'm asking a question goddamit! It's pretty fucking simple-"

"Watch your tongue with me boy! I'm still your father!" I glared, my teeth were gritted and my hair was falling in my eyes. My anger was coming back again.

"Answer me. What did I do?"

"You beat that poor woman senseless. Another one of your reckless behaviour mannerisms."

"Surely I'd remember that? Or have some evidence, like I don't know- a busted up hand?" He shook his head, ready to interject. "But when I showered after you found me, there was no signs of any trouble. Why hadn't that girl been in the newspaper? Surely, she would have wanted some form of payment if I had hurt her? And why can't I remember ever seeing her before? And-"

"Enough! You ignorant boy! I thought your head would be clearer after all those pills they shoved down your throat. How is that I managed to get two impertinent brats as sons? Why couldn't she have had the abortion-"

"Enough Dad! I've had enough of your consistent ridicule! Perhaps you should have gotten rid of me, who would want an abusive father and neglectful mother?" He pursed his lips, glaring at me.

"You can't remember, Hu? Then I'm guessing that place did you some good. I'll tell you what happened that night Sawyer." I watched, horrified as he stood to his full height, practically frothing at the mouth like him.

"You were ruining my reputation you spiteful little brat!" I stared at him my mouth agape. "You needed to have some sense knocked into you! Clearly my belt didn't do enough!" I glared at him, trying desperately to stay present instead of falling back into the past.

"So I made an arrangement. You were to be dealt with. But you, God! You over heard! You were going to ruin everything! I had to get rid of you!"

"I overheard? Overheard what?" Images began to flash across my eyesight. Like broken glass, only the pieces didn't fit back together. My father was speaking to someone, he was in our old house. I was there, but I wasn't with him.

He was having an argument it seemed. The images were washing over me in waves. They were soundless however, no words could be made out. "I had to get rid of you Sawyer, somehow I had to make you forget." I looked down at my hands.

My father had caught me watching and asked me to come inside. He poured me a drink and... "You drugged me?" The words fell out of my mouth like acid. "Why? What have I ever done to you?" He smirked, his face clearing.

"You were born." My terrified demeanour morphed into a caged tiger.

"That wasn't my fault you bastard! You can't blame me! What was it you were trying so desperately to hide from me? From the world! That you had to have me locked up with the same man who beat me and... And raped me!"

The monster.

It was clear now. The monster at the asylum, my memories had changed the man into something else so as to forget it ever was a reality. I had changed it into a dream. He had done unspeakable things to me. He made me who I was today.

"My dear, dear boy. Can't you remember? You are not the oldest Sawyer. Or have you completely lost your mind? Remember Moira?" I stared at him for what felt like days but was mere seconds.

The name, that name, was so familiar. There was something so nostalgic about that name. Moira. Who is Moira? Why do I recall that name?

"Your sister, Sawyer."