Unexpected healing

Severus forgives his father Part 15

Severus

Severus had been expecting that his father would want nothing to do with Felicy as soon as he found out, so he was not surprised when he heard that she had been asked to leave. It had all been a waste of time. That she kept going, was clearly a further waste of time, it even angered him.

Maybe if he could just eradicate them from his memories he could carry life on as normal as he had learned to do. But she believed as always in the good in people, it was no good he could not stop her going. Needless to say, he was very surprised when Felicy told him about the old man wanting to see her again and more so wanting to see him.

To process this information he spend a whole night at the mountains mentally preparing himself. At first he found the emotions hard to bare and for once he let the tears run freely, but after a while he felt peace transcend and he knew he was ready to meet his father.

He simply came along when it was time for Felicy to go to Woodruft's. Nanny went pale when she saw him, but there was also an eagerness in her face. "Severus, I am so very pleased to see you," she said, "you will see, it was not in vain that you have come," and then directed towards Felicy: "Do you think we should warn him?"

" I will tell him," Felicy answered.

He watched her go into a well-lit room. He moved as close as he dared without fearing that he might be seen, he heard Felicy greet his Father and then he heard the voice, the same voice he had longed to hear, speaking kindly to him, just ones.

"How are you my dear," the voice asked. It did not at all sound harsh or bitter, there was a tiredness, though. " I am very well," he heard Felicy reply. " And how is,..." the male voice paused..." how is..Severus." Hearing his name, made his blood freeze. Felicy was quiet for a while: " He has accompanied me today, sir" she said, her voice soft and hopeful.

Severus heard a sharp intake of breath, then:" I am not at all sure if I can do this Felicy." This was just what Severus himself was feeling. He could not bear it any longer, he could not prolong this any longer, it had to be done and now. Severus stepped resolutely into the room and moved towards the bed and in front of one of the large windows.

He saw an old man in white sheets, but this man did not very much resemble the father, that he remembered. This old man had turned white, he stared at Severus with eyes wide and then he cried, silently, desperately. Tears running down his cheek.

Severus was not at all sure how to react, he stood frozen on the spot. Watching his father cry he felt several emotions, he felt justified, repulsed, taken back, but lastly compassion and longing. The past had gone, he Severus had grown up and as he could no longer change the past, he decided, he still had a chance to change the future.

He moved towards the bed, still apprehensive and sat down next to his father. They looked at each other. The tears still falling, the old man slowly and unsure lifted his old, freckled hand from the covers clearly hoping. At first Severus could not respond, but then he too lifted his hand and took the offered hand into his own. Peace seemed to settle on the old man's face. "Please, forgive me...." the words were spoken in not much more than a whisper. There was an urge in his voice. Severus looked at his father and could no longer feel hatred, " I am trying" he said, vaguely.

Nanny and Felicy had left the room, but he had not noticed, too absorbed in his emotions and in meeting his father. Now both of them entered in and brought with them some fresh tea and cake. They sat together and ate and drank, the conversation was still superficial, but Severus felt it had been a good first meeting. When it was time to depart, he shook his father's hand. " You have become a very fine man." His father said with pride in his voice and then more urgent: " You will come back, will you." Severus nodded. " I will come back." He felt as if a big shadow had moved and he was suddenly seeing the light.

At home, he realized how exhausted he was, the meeting had left him shaken and not having slept much the night before. Jet he still needed a while before he could find sleep that night.

The next day Felicy had prior arrangements, so he decided to go and visit his father and Nanny on his own. After an initial comfortableness, he and his father got talking, after talking about more recent events, his father suddenly changed the subject and he talked about his mother and how much he had loved her. At first this was hard for Severus, but then he wanted to know more, he craved to know more. This seemed to be a subject his father could talk about forever, but as it was equally important to Severus he did not mind. Every bit filtered straight to his heart, but equally left him wanting.

When he returned home it was very late and Felicy had gone to bed already. All he could feel was love and joy and peace. One after the other the pieces of his heart, that had scattered where being put back together.

The next morning he almost overslept and as Felicy was anyway a long sleeper there was not much time before classes, he just managed to tell her the basics of his last meeting with his father. She was so happy for him and he loved her so much. He would have liked to make love to her there and then, but there really was no time, he did, however, kiss her and pressed her hard against his own craving body, before they parted. He realized he had not been with her, since Nanny had appeared that stormy day. Now that his heart was lighter than ever, he felt his senses and his passion return.

He met Felicy later that day in the corridors, he glanced around and as nobody was to be seen, he seized her and pushed her hard against the wall, breathing heavily. At first she had a fright, but soon caught on. He kissed her. " I can make a potion that ensnares the mind," he said still breathing heavily, "but you ensnare my mind just by being you." He felt her desire and he realized this time he could not stop himself, but quite impossible, he could not have her right here in the corridor. They were too far away from their own rooms, but then he remembered the room of requirements and he visualized a room where he could be with Felicy. A door appeared on the opposite wall from where they were standing. He pushed the door open, impatiently. He could no longer wait.

Afterwards he thought he must have been asleep for the last few months. Felicy looked alive too, her cheeks rosy and her eyes sparkling. Severus checked his watch, with a shock he pointed out to her, that they had exactly five minutes to get to their classrooms. Grinning they hastily got dressed. Felicy was dressed first, looking around." A library" she said teasingly, "seriously Severus." He grabbed her and tickled her, which ended in a long kiss and his passion rising jet again, he withdrew from her, there was definitive no time for more now. She laughed and they left the room, the corridor still deserted, for students were now waiting in their classrooms, with two Professors arriving rather late.

Severus stormed into his classroom, so that his late coming would not be the focus but rather his dramatic entrance. It was his intention to further ensure that his image was maintained and he would not lose authority. But he knew that he would never be that lonely, bitter person again he had once been and that had created his prior image in the first place.

He and Felicy continued to visit his father and Nanny regularly. They never discussed the events of the past in detail, but every so often his father would point out, how much he regretted the way he had treated his son. He pointed out, that grieving for his mother had overshadowed his mind to a point, that he was not at his right mind any more and only after he had had his stroke, had he realized what he had done and what kind of person he had been.

These visits were good and healing meetings and overshadowed only, by the fact that his father grew weaker and weaker and then one day he died in his sleep. His expression were peaceful and content. Severus felt numb and a deep sadness for having had only such little time with his father, but he was extremely thankful for having been able to find peace and love, while still possible.

After a few months, life carried on and Severus made peace with the new, but different, more healthy hole in his heart caused by his father's death. Nanny who did not take the old man's death very well, got even more fragile and needed care. They found her a very warm nursing home and he went to visit her as often as he could, sometimes alone sometimes together with Felicy. It was her who suggested that Felicy might be pregnant.