Lost Without Them (Ashton Irwin Story)

One of those days...

Storm's POV

The guys have come with me to school every day this week and I can assure you that by the time it reaches Friday, I am so over it. I check the time on my phone as I finish my last piece of homework, choosing to get it over with before the weekend starts because I know I will never find the motivation to do it if I leave it.

Things have changed a little since the boys have come home. Mum and dad are home more often than before – that is one of the major changes though I know it won't last long. Ashton has kept his promise about making sure I eat – well, as far as he knows I'm doing fine. In reality, every other day I empty my stomach of as much as I can. I can't put on weight; I'm already fat enough as it is. I have to lose some more before I'll be happy but the boys are making it hard; them and their stupid addiction to junk food.

I trudge downstairs reluctantly. Today is just one of those days that I would rather just stay in my room but that's not allowed, I have to socialise at least a little to keep the boys off of my back.

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I drop down into my seat, staring at my meal. I sigh before picking up my fork and eating tiny bites, mostly moving it around my plate. It's a nice meal but I just don't feel like eating anything right now. I eat a bit more before moving away from the table, dropping my hardly eaten meal in the bin before trudging back upstairs without looking back.

I hear a sigh before a chair scrapes across the floor just as I reach the top of the staircase but I don't bother turning around to see who it is. I enter my room, leaving the door open as I already know who will make an appearance shortly, and lie face down on my bed. After a minute or two, I hear footsteps before the door is closed and a weight falls to lie on the bed next to me.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asks.

I shake my head but don't lift it from the covers to answer properly. He sighs, moving closer and wrapping an arm around my back, just holding me for now.

"I feel bad keeping it from them. Michael deserves to know; Ashton would give up everything in a heartbeat if he knew what was happening; as for Luke... I don't know how much help Luke would be but he would try at least." Calum mumbles.

I turn my head, now facing away from him, which allows me to breathe.

"I wish I knew how to help you... how to show you that what you tell yourself and the truth are two completely different things." He chokes out, getting emotional with the frustration of not having an answer.

"Some people don't deserve to be helped, especially when it's their own fault that they're the way they are," I whisper.

"Don't say it like that... don't blame yourself." The weight shifts as he sits up, and I hear him sniffle which indicates that he may be crying, or about to.

'Now look what you did. Are you pleased with yourself?' The voice taunts.

I whimper softly, once again moving to hide my face.

"Please Storm, let one of us help you – or be there for you properly at least." Calum mumbles, sniffling again as he wraps himself around me again.

I hear multiple footsteps coming up the stairs before someone knocks on the door. Calum stays quiet, not reacting either as whoever knocked ends up opening the door. Three sets of footsteps enter, the other boys evidently, as the door shuts again.

"Woah, Calum, what's up? You look like you're about to cry." Michael states, sounding worried for his friend.

Calum pulls me closer as I make no attempt to move as Calum whispers incoherently in my ear, still quite obviously emotional.

"Please Storm... please."

Michael unwraps him from me, pulling him away and over to the desk chair on the other side of the room. This just makes Calum cry harder. I know the boys are worried about him now, but what am I meant to do or say? I close my eyes and try to block out Calum's words. I faintly hear the door open and another pair of footsteps before one of them ask what everyone is doing up here.

"Tell me how, Storm. Or tell them. Please, at least do that." Calum speaks again, seeming to be working himself up again.

"Storm, look at me," Ashton states, turning me over as I slowly open my eyes. I refuse to meet his gaze but he still waits until my eyes are fully open to continue. "What is he talking about?"

I shake my head, still looking away from him, and it goes silent as I see Calum glance at me around Michael's shoulder.