Iris

Blood, Nightmares and Interviews

"Your a disgusting fag! Don't ever talk to me again! I can't believe after all this time, you were gay! I can't believe this! I thought we told each other everything! But then you go and tell me your gay!" Harry shouted at me as he paced back and forth in front of me, as I sat on the couch, letting silent tears slip out.

"You are disgusting and a disgrace to this band! You should just quit the band already! Nobody likes you, you have no fans like the rest of us do! Hell, even Niall has more fans than you and I am not trying to be mean to the poor lad. Just, just leave and don't come back." He finished quietly, staring at the floor and tugging his hair.

"Y-You d-don't mean th-this, Harry." I whimpered. He couldn't do this to me. He was my best friend. I only told him because I thought he would support me. Obviously, I thought wrong and now is calling me names and telling me to leave the band.

"You don't get it Louis. Nobody likes fags like you. I'm saving you the trouble of getting all that hate and am telling you to just leave the band and don't ever come back." He spat bitterly and stormed out of the hotel room we were sharing.

"Louis."

"Louis!"

"LOUIS!"

I was being shaken by Harry as he looked down at me with concerned eyes. I was covered in sweat and my face was covered in tears. Great. I had another nightmare.

"Boo..." Harry whispered to me, making me relieved he wasn't mad at me. I quickly sat up, wrapping my arms around his neck, burying my face in his chest and started sobbing. Harry quickly wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me onto his lap and started whispering comforting things in my ear, whilst rubbing small circles at the bottom of my back. After I finally stopped crying, Harry pulled me back, taking my face in his large hands and wiping away left over tears.

"Boo, what's the matter? You kept saying "No, don't do this to me" and "Please don't leave me, Harry". What happened? Do you wanna talk about it?" He asked me. I didn't really want to tell him the real reason, I didn't want him to be the same way he was in the nightmare. I wouldn't be able to take that twice in less than an hour.

I shook my head and managed to stutter out "I-I told you s-someth-ing and you h-hated m-me for it. Th-then you m-made me le-leave the band." This started a whole new round of tears and Harry pulled me back into his chest.

"Shh, Boo, I would never hate you! Even if you did something horrible, I still wouldn't be able to. Wanna know why?" I nodded my head against his chest and let him continue. "I would never be able to live with myself if I hurt you like that. I can't hate you because you are amazing and the best friend anybody could ever have. You won't ever be able to get rid of me, not even if you tried. I will be that annoying ex that always will follow you around. I promise you." I let out a loud sob/choke/laugh noise and buried my face deeper into his chest, inhaling his scent. He smelled wonderful, like always.

This was the reason why I can't tell him I'm gay. He will stop being so close to me or he will find out that I am in love with him. That's right, I, Louis William Tomlinson, am gay and in love with my best mate, Harry Edward Styles. I even used middle names and shit, because its true. It's embarrassing actually because lately I haven't been acting normal because of him. I'm afraid I will say something in front of him that will make him realize I like him more than a friend. He has noticed me being distant lately and it kind of sucks. To top it all off, I have been having nightmares like this for the past two weeks. This is the first one him, or anybody in fact, have found out about them.

"This hasn't been the only one." Harry stated, not asking. He practically read my mind which freaked me out a little. I slowly nodded my head and said "Oh, Louis. Why didn't you tell me?"