public restrooms

26- honeymoon avenue

Luke sat on the other side of the couch as I sat on the opposite side. My legs crossed as his were too. I rested my head on my hand as my elbow touched the end of the couch, having me lean a certain angle. I wasn't even paying attention to what was going on in the television nor the sounds that came out of the speakers.

"Great movie, huh?" Luke said, adjusting his position.

"Yeah, like how Regina- um, like and Gretchen, they like-"

"You're not paying attention." He sighed, scooting towards me. "Baby, what's wro-"

"Please don't call me that- please stop pretending that everything is okay, because it's not." I slouched, combing my hair with my fingers.

"I don't know what to do, what to say I just want to go back to the way it was, Claire." He sighed, pushing his back to my sofa.

"I want to go back to the way it was too, but knowing that you-"

"I know what I did, but I can't fix it!" He stood up in frustration, clenching his fist and jaw as I could feel his anger.

"I can't keep living like this when I know that you stuck your dick in my bestfriend." I sighed, my voice cracking from the pain that sunk when I spilled out those words.

I stood up, almost about to cry because I hated crying, and crying infront of someone I loved was the hardest thing ever, especially if they're the reason why.

"No, no- please don't cry. I'm sorry, I just-" He pushed his body against mine as tears flowed down my hot cheeks, his arms wrapping around my body as I found myself crying even more.

"Can we just start over?" He said, lifting up my chin and wiping my tears. I forced a smile, chuckling and bringing my lips to his. He instantly kissed back, my mind still spinning.

"I don't know if I can just start over." I said.

He sat back down in silence as I heard him hiccup.

"Holy shit, Luke. Are you crying?" I said, sitting down next to him as I grabbed his hand.

And there it was, his red eyes and tears running down his cheeks.

"Why are you crying?" I asked. God, that was so stupid.

"Because I hurt you and-" he cried, "I think that we just shouldn't be together anymore. You deserve someone so much better than me. Someone who will not make you cry, but who will make you laugh and kiss your forehead once you fall asleep."

I looked at him, blinking a few times. This wasn't Luke. The Luke I learned to love never gave up on anything, even me.

"I love you so much." I whispered. The tears started forming in the corners of my eyes as I breathed from my mouth. He bit his lip, grabbing his jacket and heading out the door. I can't believe he just left me. He left me just like that.

He left me there, sitting on my sofa, drowning myself with my tears.

He suddenly walked back into my apartment. I couldn't help but giggle even with tears running down my face. "No I just can't leave you. I can't let go of you." Luke sighed.

"I'm not leaving you. Fuck- even if you had three kids and a husband I'd still run after you until I was the father of those three kids and I was the one you had those kids with. God, Claire. You made me so soft in the inside. I want to grow old with you so we can cover eachother's dark circles with your concealer and use tons of foundations to cover our wrinkles." He smiled, caressing my cheek.

"I just want you to love me the way I've always loved you. I just want you. I just want to know what you're thinking about and if you're thinking about me, or if your thinking how horrible you'll do on finals. Maybe even think about how to talk to me and tell me that you love me because, Luke, I just want to hear it. I want to know how your day was and if you picture my smile before you sleep just like how I do. Luke, I just want you to love me and for it to be real. Luke, I want commitment." I sighed.

"Then commitment you shall have." He smiled, "but on one condition."

I tilted my head as he began to speak.

"Let me take your virginity."
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Damn that last sentence lmao jesus chill fam chill

-jan x