philophobia • cth

002

《margo》

although the sex is great in me and calums relationship, he is an ass. he flirts with girls all the time and ignores me alot. I'm not really complaining, I like not having attention on me sometimes but it would be better if he was as loyal as I am in our relationship.
I love him to death but god, he drives me insane sometimes.

when I got home I talked with my mom about why's going on. my mother isn't your typical overprotective parent, she's chill and doesn't really care what I'm doing, as long as I'm safe it's fine for her.
I walked into the kitchen and looked at my mom who was at the dinner table eating while on her phone.
I smiled and walked up behind her,
"mom, I need to talk to you about something." I said as she looked up smiling back at me.
"what is it darling?", I sighed and sat down next to her.
"so me and calum are going through a hard time right now, well I think we are." I said quietly.
"what's going in with you guys? is it about the whole sex stuff?"
I shook my head,
"yeah, I guess. it's just that he's a jerk sometimes and it really upsets me. he flirts with girls and ignores me alot more than he did before." I said while looking at her.
"well, honey if you guys aren't doing good talk to him. tell him that you think you guys should take a break." my mom told me as I rubbed my face.
"I'm afraid that if we take a break he'll find someone else and not want to be with me anymore, it's not that easy to just say "hey, you're a jerk and I think we should take a break!""
she looked at me and smiled lightly,
"do whatever you're heart tells you to." she got up an hugged me then walked up the stairs to her bedroom.

I feel like it's best to take a break but what if he finds someone better than me? someone prettier, smarter, funnier. then I'll be nothing but forgotten memories to him. I'm screaming out for him to care, to be here. but he's not listening, he's stuck in his own little reality where he thinks it's okay to flirt with other girls besides the one he's "in love with".
as hard as it is for me to make this decision, I have to do this before I go completely mental.

I'm going to break up with him.

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