My Baby?

Chapter 8

Riker's P.O.V

I get up, out of bed and walk to my bathroom. I turn the hot water on and play my shower playlist. I feel like I should go out and do something because it would be nice to just go out for a while but I don't know what I'd go out and do. I run my hair under the warm-ish water and let it run down my body. Let's Get Lost plays and I hum along to it and wash my hair out. I clean my body off and keep replaying the song until the water starts getting cold.

I dry off and shake my head letting out all the water from my hair. Once I put on my clothes I take a long look at myself in the mirror. I want new clothes, I just feel like I should start doing more stuff, even if I don't want to. Maybe this'll help. I can head down to the mall and go shopping for a little bit, I could even invite Jackie. Will I sound too desperate? I'll wait a while until I try and hang out with her again. I brush my teeth and then take one final look in the mirror. Rydel will probably join me today for shopping but then again she could be busy.

My closet seems empty when I look at it. Yep, this shopping will definitely help out in that. I put on my black Converse and head downstairs with my wallet in my back pocket. I smile at my mom when I pass through the kitchen and she gives me a nice surprised smile back. Ross and Rocky are sitting at the table eating breakfast. Our parents are visiting for a month or so as of last week. Rydel isn't down here.

"Where's Rydel," I ask.

"She went out with Jackie to the mall, last time I heard," Rocky answers.

Dang.

"I was gonna go, you guys wanna join?"

They both look at me with confused faces and slowly nod their heads. I smile to them and give them a thumbs up. I flip my hair and walk outside to my car. Oh god, I haven't ridden in this for so long, it feels weird. Do I even remember how to drive? It's not that hard right? I can do this. I sit down and realize I forgot the keys. Great. I should have a spare in here somewhere. I lift open the thing in between the two front seats and laugh a little, these CDs are so outdated. I look a round and can't find another key. I pull down the sun visor and something falls out into my lap.

I make a confused face at what the papers are. I reach down to turn them over and see a small note written in cursive written on the back. I turn it over and Carllyn's laughing face looks up at me. It's a photo strip of us. Our stupid faces make me both happy and sad. The back reads "Had a great day today babe, I can' t believe it's been almost four years! I love you with every piece of my heart- Carllyn" I remember when this was. We had an amazing day, I put the picture back where it fell from and eventually find the spare key.

Ross gets in the passenger's seat and Rocky gets in the back. We drive to the Mall laughing about stuff but all that was on my mind was our pictures.

Carllyn's P.O.V

I put my phone down on the couch and turn the t.v. on and listen to whatever is on while I clean up the living room. The baby monitor soon sounds Jace's crying and I head into the room with his bottle in hand. I pick him up into my arms and feed him his bottle. I never wanted to raise a child without their dad, I never liked the idea of it but I guess I didn't have a choice with Jace. Riker and I could've gotten back together I guess but I didn't want him to be with me and Jace out of pity.  I don't want this to have messed up his plans if he wasn't looking forward to marrying me or having some sort of future. Now he can find someone he does want a future with and have the life he was planning. 

Now it's almost 4 in the afternoon and nothing has come up to where I have to leave the house. I'll probably just invite my sister over so I can take a shower and she can hang out with Jace for a while. She'll have fun haha. My hair is starting to feel oily and Ugh I don't like this. I'm sitting on the floor bouncing Jace up and down as I sing an up beat song to him. He laughs as he chews on his fist. His little legs bend and jump as I sing to him. I smile wide as I sing and laugh a little bit to myself. My sister is calling my phone but this moment is too perfect to give up. 

After that dance is over I call my sister back. She agree's to come watch Jace for a while and I sit him down in his baby swing and set it on the kitchen counter while I make something to eat. I always wanted to be the stay at home that took care of the kids and got dinner ready for when Riker got home but now there's no one coming home. I'm craving a small salad right now so I start cutting up the vegetables. My mouth is almost watering because of how hungry I am. 

My sister gets here and I hand her Jace. I gather everything I need to take a shower with and start up my music while I let water move down my body. Ugh there's so much on my mind today. I haven't shown it because I just feel weird about everything that happened. I keep thinking about how different Jackie and I are. She's the complete opposite of me and it makes me think that maybe he was never into me. Maybe he had always just stayed with me because everyone expected him to. 

A tear starts to fall from my eyes and more keep falling within seconds. I know Jace doesn't  even understand what feelings are yet but I don't want him seeing his mom break down. I wipe the many tears that fall but I give up once there's too many to catch. I want to scream and hit the wall and just cry for a while at how broken my heart feels today but that's not going to get me anywhere.  Let's Get Lost  plays and it touches me some how. More tears fall, they fall in puddles across my face as I listen to music. I keep my eyes closed as the tears stream down and sense a part of me gone. It feels like the day we broke up all over again. If only I would've tried to work things out with him again. 

Silent sobs escape my mouth every once in a while. I cover my mouth whenever one leaves my lips and bite on the inside of my cheek trying to stop my crying at once but nothing can hold back my true feeling. Sadness... 

I wash myself off and get out of the shower and head back to Jace. My sister leaves and I put Jace to sleep early along with myself.

Riker's P.O.V

We get to the mall and we look around for a bit. There's not much that interests me today and I realize why my closets so empty. I can't get those fucking pictures out of my mind but I'm trying so hard to keep it in. Rocky walked off a while ago and headed to Sport's Authority while Ross and  I walk to Zumies. My sneakers haven't even been worn before and I got these almost a year ago. My leather jacket is the same one I always wear and sadly it still had a slight sent of Carllyn's perfume on the sleeve. 

We make it to the store and I look around in all the packed clothes and find a couple pairs of jeans.

"Hey," Ross calls. I look up at him and nod.

"Isn't that the girl you were with yesterday?"

He points to the entrance of the store as Jackie and Rydel walk in. I give him a small smile and nod. She's not the reason I'm smiling, I'm just trying to smile to make me feel better about everything. I walk over to her and Rydel and surprise her with a tight hug. I hear her giggle in my ear and I smile bigger. I don't want to sound like a douche but, honestly, I picture her as Carllyn. 

She smiles up at me and I smile back. I buy some jeans and walk out of the store with her. Together we walk into Charlotte Russe and help her pick out some dresses. I hand her a tight black dress and she takes it with a couple different ones into the dressing room with her. 

She walks out with her bare feet on the white tile floor and the black dress fitting her nicely. I offer her my hand and spin her in a circle in front of the mirror when she takes it. The lighting and music are perfect for this moment. I bring her body to mine, holding her waist tightly and we slow dance in the store. People recognize me and I hear different mixed emotions from everyone. Once I pull away her smile is bigger than any I have seen on her. She wasn't even this happy when I kissed her. 

"I'm guessing you like it," she says with a smile still on her face.

"This is also my way to ask you on a date," I smile to her and lock her fingers with mine. "I was thinking, dancing."

She gives a small giggle and nods her head. I can see her cheeks turning a slight pink color and I smile to myself.

"Sounds good then."

We leave the mall and I offer to pay for her dress. She doesn't let me but I pay anyway before she had a chance to pay herself. I take her home and I drive myself home thinking about everything that just went on. Today was a good day and I'm happy with myself for everything I did for my self. 

A/N: Hey guys I wrote quite a bit lol almost 2,000 words. Anyway please don't forget to vote and comment on this I love you all- Rosie(: SMILE