Broken Beyond Repair

Chapter 9

~LIAM'S POV~

I wake up around like 8:00 dazed. I'm just wondering what happened last night then it hits me like a ton of bricks.

I can't believe Zayn used to cut. But mostly, I can't believe that Leslie would do that to me! She almost blew it for me! I feel exhausted despite the fact that I slept for a good 9 hours. I felt like shit.

I need to cut, but I have nothing to do it with. Then I remember about the lighter.

The day we went on tour I saw Zayn outside of the tour bus smoking. I ran out and yelled at him. He looked terrified. I knocked the cigarette out of his hand and smashed it into the cement. I demanded that he gave me the lighter. He handed it over reluctant.

I told him that if I ever found him smoking one again I would personally call Paul and have him talk to him.

I put it in my suitcase! That's it! It's in my suitcase! Thank god!

I run back into my room and I grab the lighter out of my suitcase, then I run to my bathroom. I lock the door behind me, sit down on the toilet and examining it.

I flipped it over an over in my hand. Finally I light it and lift up my shirt and hold the flickering flame against my skin.

The smell of burning flesh was horrendous, but it was completely and utterly worth it to feel that flowing relief I have been longing for a while now.

I place it again and again against my already scarred skin. After about two or three more times I stopped.

Immediately after I realize what I had just done that sense of relief was replaced with guilt. Niall. Michael. They're going to be so disappointed.

After I thought more about what I had just done I decided that I should just tell them. I mean, they are gonna be mad and disappointed in me but they are gonna be even more if I don't tell them and if they have to find out on their own.

I walked into the room and I just told them. Michael just said that it was fine, but I could tell by the look in his eyes that it wasn't. Niall didn't say anything. He just walks out of the room.
I just start crying after that, because I know he is disappointed in me. The thought of that kills me.

I was about to follow him but Ashton walked in. He noticed that I was crying.

"What's wrong, Liam?"

"My head hurts that's all." I reply a little too quickly.

"Oh. Well I was hoping that Liam and I could do something together tomorrow since we hardly ever hang out." Ashton said.

"Yea. That would be great." I said.

"Cool." He replied with a smile and walked out the room.

~NEXT DAY~

~ASHTON'S POV~

Me and Liam have just left the house, and we were heading towards the park. For a while, neither of us said a word. So in an attempt in to make conversation, I say the first thing that pops into my head.

"So how have you been, Li?" I ask nonchalantly.

"It's been really good actually. I mean touring is amazing. The fans are so supportive and ya. What about you?" He replies.

"Pretty much the same for me." I say. It was quiet for another moment until Liam unexpectedly broke the silence.

"I like your bracelets. Especially the Nirvana one." He said pointing to all my bracelets.

"Ya. Nirvana's my favourite band." I say.

"Hey, um it's getting a bit chilly. You wanna go back to the hotel and watch Netflix or something?" Liam asked.

"Yeah sure." I say.

~LIAM'S POV~

Once we were back inside we popped some popcorn, grabbed two soda's and plopped ourselves down right in front of the T.V.

After about 2 hours of watching Pretty Little Liars, I started to wonder about Ash's bracelets and why he has so many.

I mean maybe he just likes them or maybe he's like me. I mentally slapped myself in the face. Snap out of it Liam! He's not like you! He's happy go lucky Ashton.

"Hey. Let's play twenty questions." I say.

"Okay."He replies.

20 Questions

"Question One: What is your full name?"

"Ashton Fletcher Irwin."

"Question Two: When is your birthday?"

"July 7, 1994."

"Question Three: What part of Australia are you from?"

"Hornsby, Australia."

"Question Four: Favourite Movie?"

"Pursuit of Happiness."

"Question Five: How tall are you?"

"6 foot."

"Question Six: When was your first kiss?"

"When I was 16."

"Question Seven: Do you have any siblings?"

"Yes. I have a brother and a sister."

"Question Eight: What is your favourite colour?"

"Red."

"Question Nine: Lucky Number?"

"18."

"Question Ten: What's your biggest fear?"

"Well I have two. One is needles and the other is breaking my wrist."

"Question Eleven: Are you religious?"

"Yes. I'm Christian."

"Question Twelve: Would you date a fan?"

"Yes."

"Question Thirteen: is it true that you tried out for the X Factor in 2010?"

"Yes."

"Question Fourteen: Celebrity Crush?"

"Hayley Williams and Jade Thirlwall."

"Question Fifteen: Favourite singer?"

"James Morrison."

"Question Sixteen: Favourite T.V Show?"

"Family Guy."

"Question Seventeen: Do you snore?"

"Yes. Like a lot."

"Question Eighteen: Favourite Fruit?"

"Pineapple."

"Question Nineteen: Where did you work before you were with 5SOS?"

"KFC."

"Question Twenty: Can you play any other instruments besides the drums?"

"Yep. Guitar, Piano and Saxophone."

~End of 20 Questions~

"Wow. I really didn't know any of those things. Hey, I'm beat. I'm gonna go to sleep." I say.

"Okay. Have a good sleep." He said and I left the room.

After that I went to Niall and I's room and laid down and slowly fell asleep.