I forgot

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I forgot what it felt like 

the numbness 

and emptiness that ached through my chest every time i took a breath 


i had been so happy for so long 

i forgot how miserable this was 

i had forgotten how disappointed i was when i heard my heart beat yet again 


how my eyes constantly stung with the warning of tears 

that would  never come out 

the panic and anger targeted at everything and everyone 


i forgot what it felt like to be a volcano 

except constantly irrupting with silent internal turmoil that no one can see 

the loneliness that eats you from the inside out


i had forgotten the pain 

i had forgotten the torture 

but now iv been reminded once again    


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