The Player's Girlfriend (lesbian story)

Chapter One

I figured out that I was gay when I was thirteen and deathly in love with my straight bestfriend. So naturally, being confused and scared, I found a role to play, I played the role of the friend-zoned bestfriend guy, except I was a girl. So I went from not having a chance, to not a chance in Hell. I listened to her endless complaints of how her crush would never love her back, I would cuddle with her in a friend way when she was cold, and I hung out with her every weekend. Also just to hide how queer I was and how obvious it was too. I learned what to say when someone said a guy was cute, I fake doodled names in a notebook and listen to Taylor Swift and One Direction. Truly and frankly I was good at being a straight girl, I was good at pretending to like guys, because I didn't really care so if one likes me. I didn't panic or feel any pressure to interact with them, I was the "cool girl" I was "chill and outgoing" and fake liking them was so easy because I didn't give a shit if they didn't like me. Man was that easy.

I finally got over my friend at the age of late fourteen but was generally unhappy that I had wasted so much time. I had wanted to tell her, to tell my friends, and to shout it from the rooftops. I wanted to but I was so terrified, I wanted to come out but the world beyond the closet was a terrifying place, kids got bullied, got hurt, and sometimes killed. But that hasn't happened for years at my school, so on my 15th birthday I had a small party with my friends and declared that I was gay. I remember that day so clearly, while more like the moment. The day was spend with sweaty palms and nervousness stopping my stomach from letting me eat, I remember we were eating cake and I couldn't get it out but I just pretended to eat my cake. Mushing the icing and actual cake part into a gross looking glob. We were alone in my room and then it finally came out. Or I guess I came out.
"I'm gay."
And at first I couldn't even say it. It was whispering and then I said it and it was out and wasn't going back in. It was louder than you'd think it was, it's not like I was yelling but it was still ringing in my ears. It was so freeing but at the same time I was terrified, and I started crying and it wasn't sadness though. It was relief and fear it was all the confusion and stress caused by coming out, and it had now happened to break me down.

Two of my friends hugged me and told me that loved me and it was cool and friend number one left the party then and there. She didn't say anything and she had the nerve to take the leftover cake with her. Yeah my ex-best-friend was a birthday cake stealing homophobe, but I'm pretty sure she has an undiagnosed celiac disease. So she probably got some nasty gas from it, so hey, it does get better. My other friends stayed but in the end friend number two left with friend number one, and I was alone and I got a bit depressed. But friend number three stuck with me through it all. She's such a good friend she made me smile on days I didn't have the ambition to brush my hair, and made me laugh on the days I wore pyjama pants to school.

Yeah that's Becka and she's stuck with me through it all. I don't know what I'd do without her, my other friends Melissa and Sabrina, I don't even think about them anymore.

She was there for two more of my coming out's. She came to my house when we wrote my mom a letter explaining to her that I don't like boys. So when she told me when I was a little girl that I was going to grow up to have a husband and three kids, it wasn't accurate. Then we ran to Becka's house and hung out with her twin sister Maria, then at 9:30 that night my mom came and picked me up and her only explanation was
"Hey missy you think you're going to get away with girl sleepovers? No way."
Then she took me out for ice cream and we talk about it, and that was it.

School was accidentally really.
We were in math class and I was daydreaming and my teacher yelled at me
"ROBIN ARE YOU DAYDREAMING!!! WHAT'S MORE IMPORTANT THAN MATH??? BOYS?!?!? GET YOUR HEAD BACK IN THE MATH CLASS!!!"
I simply shook my head and said.

"Why would I think about boys, like has no one noticed how sexy Emma Watson is?!"

Then I realized that I had said that quite loudly. The entire class freezes and then I hear some guy who was sitting behind me say:
"Well DUH! But good taste Robin."
We high fived, he became my first guy friend, Al. At this point my math teacher just looked confused said
"Umm okay then."
And returned to the math board.

By then most of the school had heard. So then came the negatives of coming out, the bullying, the homophobes. Yes them. You know the fun part is first everyone tells you,
"No one cares nowadays if you're gay!"
That is a big fat lie, if I've ever heard one. People care, people care, people care a lot, people care too much even though they know that it's NONE OF THEIR FUCKING BUSINESS!!!
Which by the way queer allosexual teen girls is exactly what you can tell horny boys when they ask you what you do in bed, threatening to kick them where the sun don't shine is also acceptable.
But yeah they care. In fact they care enough to
Shove you against the lockers, write dyke or fag on all your papers and make homophobic remarks whenever you pass them in the hall and dumping you as a friend.

But hey that's not caring. Right straight cis people?

Anyways it's not like I don't stand up for myself I am very capable of saying F off or giving a speech and unfortunately that makes people think that I'm not a victim.

The hardest person to come out to was coming out to myself. Yes I know sounds stupid right? It's just one day girls were cute and I didn't know what to do! It's so weird to think your something you're entire life and then you're not. It was having to face the truth. Then it was the research, it was the gayday training and looking for representation. While going through that phase. Of seeking out other lesbians I read lots of fluffy Girlxgirl novels. I found out many things from those books and movies one: all lesbians happen to be white, two: gay girls always find each other and three: all lesbians happen to be lipsticks or fems and super hot. Which I mean yes obviously we're sexy and hot as the hell that we constantly told we will eventually burn in, but skinny, tall, blond hair, blue eyes, is not some loose always relatable fit. I also learned there are about 9 stages to a teenage lesbian love story. I kept this in mind when I started writing this story.
So far we've passed the three main stages.
1) notices girls. At this point it's pretty clear that the character really should be shooting rainbows out of their wrists like Spider-Man, like super clear and yet they are totally oblivious, they usually notice or think of something like long hair, soft hands, her figure and sometimes her eyes.
2) Catches on to the shocking fact that they are gay! Wow! Can you believe it!
3) and three comes out.
Welcome to the beginning.